The Eternal Review

*a special halloween version of the Monstermaster13 productions introduction starts with the opening theme which sounds like a mix of the Beetlejuice and Tales From The Crypt themes as performed by Danny Elfman*

(We see an old mansion,  the doors of the old mansion open as the tracking shot takes us all the way through the mansion,  down to the basement - where a lab of sorts,  we see one of the coffins creek open -  and suddenly Chris the Alpha Walken pops out of it)

Chris:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr!   I have returned.    Surrender your blood and cowbell to me or you all will become my Walkeny minions forever!  Muwahahaha!   *He roars,  bearing his sharpened teeth*

Oh,  i’m sorry.   Did I frighten you?   If I did….then I apologize.   I’m just getting into the holiday spirit.

Because my friends,   it is October -  which as you humans know,  mean it is the season for horror and all kinds of spooky things.

I’m everyone’s favorite bloodthirsty,  cowbell-crazed,  singing,  dancing creature of the night -  Chris,  the alpha Walken.  

And in case you don’t know me already,  I am  the man who puts the “ooo”  in “boogieman”,  the one thing that Satan looks for under his bed,   the thing that never stops going bump in the night,  and the thing that whispers in your ears and gives you dark thoughts.


Now being that this is the season of all things horror...you’re probably wondering what i’m going to review?  

Well….after ALL these tiresome weeks of hunting down this one particular movie to review for the Walken-A-Thon,   I have finally found it.

I present to you...Trance aka The Eternal/Kiss Of The Mummy.   You wouldn’t believe what lengths I had to go through to find it.

This movie is directed by Michael  Almereyda and this is a different take of horror movie,  it is set in Ireland.

Now I bet the first thing that comes to your mind when ‘Ireland’ and ‘horror movies’  are mentioned is the Leprechaun Franchise.    Well this is the other irish horror movie,   the one that not many people know about.

This one focuses on a couple named Jim and Nora,  who are alcoholics who decided to go and visit their family over in Ireland to sober up.

After a fall in their home in New York,  Nora starts experiencing nosebleeds,  headaches and visions -  and this is what prompts them to move back to Ireland.

But things aren’t always as they seem,  and while things may appear to be bright and merry -  little do they know that there is a darkside lurking around the corner.

Their eccentric Uncle Bill (Chris Walken) shows Nora the body of a mummy,  but it’s not the Egyptian kind.

This mummy was a 2,0000 year old druid witch who was a force of nature,  and also it is one of Nora’s descendants,  which explains why Nora is suffering from these hallucinations.

Nora’s grandmother and her uncle Bill both resides in a really posh old mansion,  that i’m pretty sure may or may not be haunted.

Slowly but surely the mummified druid witch  -  named Niamh starts to transform,  and what does she turn into?  Why...she turns into our heroine Nora of course.

As this happens,  a series of deaths occur including Bill getting decapitated.   *sigh*  Us Walkens are just so unlucky when it comes to this sort of thing aren’t we?   I know.. Walken always seems to get killed off and that’s sad.

Soon it’s up to Nora and Jim to save the night and to put an end to Niamh’s reign of terror.  I’m not going to spoil the rest for you though.

This movie was actually pretty good,  it’s no ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’  or ‘Child’s Play’  but it’s an interesting entry in the world of horror.

The acting here is pretty stellar especially by the main cast which includes Alison Elliott,  Rachel O’ Rouke,  Jared Harris and of course Chris Walken.

I love the haunting atmosphere of this movie and I was thoroughly impressed throughout,  it’s a good movie and I recommend it.

The concept is also unique and fascinating to watch...if you’re a Walken,  check this movie out if you haven’t seen it.

You should really watch this movie if you haven’t,   I give it 9 and a half out of ten, and two long,  clawed Walken-like thumbs up and a high recommendation stamp.

This has been my review on The Eternal,   the hunt for this movie has been worthwhile and you should watch this.

Stay tuned for more Walken reviews and for more halloween fun from everyone’s favorite cowbell-crazed alpha Walken.

Remember,   the darkside is always there,  waiting for us to enter,  waiting to enter us...until next time...try to enjoy the daylight.

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