World of Monsters

Chris: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Walken’s den for another installment of the Walken-A-Thon and the Countdown to Hallo-Walken.   Hallo-Walken is approaching rapidly - I hope all you good humans out there remember to place an offering of cowbell as well as pay tribute to the great and almighty Alpha Walken because if you do,  he might reward you by turning you into a Walken or She-Hessian. Today I will be reviewing a Walken movie that i’ve been wanting to review for a long time,  especially since I became a full fledged Waken.   This movie i’m talking about came out in 1994 and is titled A Business Affair.   The story of this movie revolves around a writer played by Carole Boquet who finds herself falling in love with two different men,   Alec (played by Jonathan Pryce) and the rather dashing and alluring Vanni Corso,  naturally played by Walken.    Walken certainly has a knack for playing these hypnotic and charismati...

Walken Assimilation ---------------------- Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and is based on a comment on a forum thread,  if you think it is real you are seriously mental.   It is a play on words of the Borg assimilation process from Star Trek: TNG.  It has a hypnosis scene,  a human to Walken tf scene,  and  dark scenes in it which may upset sensitive readers. Walkens featured in this story: Christopher Walken himself. Morty (Click) Archangel Gabriel (Prophecy trilogy) Frank White (King Of New York) Vanni Corso.  (A Business Affair) Kim Ulander. (Search And Destroy) J-Man. (Envy). Tom. (Pennies From Heaven) Max Zorin. (A View To A Kill) Hessian Horseman. (Sleepy Hollow) Reed Thimple. (Country Bears) Frank Abagnale Sr (Catch Me If You Can) Paul Rayburn.  (Man On Fire) Wilbur Turnblad.  (Hairspray) Gyp DeCarlo.  (Jersey Boys) Bobby Mcbain.  (Mcbain.) Bobby Kahn. (Wayne’s World 2) Robert (The Comfort Of Strangers). Fe...

Chris: Greetings once again humans,   Walkens and fellow creatures of the night.   I am Chris the alpha Walken and welcome back to the Hallo-Walken installment of the Walken-A-Thon, and you're in for a treat.   I know I already covered The Prophecy trilogy before but I am going to review it again because it's just that good.    There is no doubt about it that the 90's was the era of the Walken we know and love,   the Hypnotic and Quasi-Vampiric Walken.    It started with a little  movie called The Comfort Of Strangers in which Walken played a truly creepy demented and vampiric role. Little did we know that in 1995,  a little vampire movie called The Addiction came out and Walken played a vampire in it.   He will also be playing a bloodsucker in the movie Fangs Of War,   I hear he might be playing Dracula.  Ooooh.  It looks like  Bela Lugosi,  Max Schreck,  Frank Langella,  Christo...

1. Balls of Fury. 2. Stepford Wives. 3. Sleepy Hollow. 4. Click. 5. Hairspray. 6. The Prophecy. 7. The Prophecy II. 8. The Prophecy III. 9. Seven Psychopaths. 10. The Country Bears. 11. The Dead Zone. 12. Batman Returns. 13. Communion. 14. The Deer Hunter 15. Romance and Cigarrettes. 16. Envy. 17. Man of the Year. 18. Undertaking Betty. 19. Mousehunt. 20. Antz. 21. Ripper. 22. Wayne's World 2. 23. A-Z of Walken. 24. SNL: Best of Christopher Walken. 25. Trance/Eternal. 26. A Late Quartet. 27. The Power Of Few. 28. The Addiction.  30. The Rundown. 31. Kangaroo Jack. 32. Joe Dirt. 33. The Wild Side. 34. A View To A Kill. 35. Life's A Beach/Jungle Juice. 36. Around The Bend. 37. Five Dollars A Day. 38. King Of New York. 39. Brainstorm.  39. Comfort Of Strangers. 40. Blast From The Past. 41. Excess Baggage. 42.  Mind Snatchers. 43. Stand Up Guys. 44. Search And Destroy.

It looks like Russell is slipping a bit because I slept like a baby last night,   dreams weren't too far out of the ordinary and i'm still me.  Phew.   Chris the Alpha Walken will not allow Russell to have his way with me,   after all -  Chris is a proud member of the vampire team.   Or should that be..Team Walken?            

American Werewolf In London review By Monstermaster13 ----------------------------------- Nathan: Welcome back to Monstermaster13's Halloween Spooktacular Countdown,  now for today's installment we will be looking at a personal favorite movie of mine.    Before we start,  i'd like to mention that I am a huge fan of werecreatures and shapeshifters in general thanks to Big Wolf On Campus,  the 1980's classic Teen Wolf and of course the subject of tonight's review. Released in 1981,  this classic horror/comedy is directed by John Landis who also directed Animal House,  Kentucky  Fried Movie,   Blues Brothers,   Three Amigos,  Shlock,  and Oscar and is probably the first movie to have a four legged werewolf instead of the two-legged traditional Lon Chaney Jr styled werewolf. An American Werewolf In London is a project that Landis had been wanting to be do since he was a teenager and is also partially inspired by...

Transylvania 6-5000 Review ------------------------------- Nathan: Hello everyone and welcome to another special installment of Monstermaster13’s reviews,  i’m Monstermaster13 from the time when zombies weren’t used as love-interests in teen monster movies. Guess what?   It’s September!  And do you know what that means?   That is right my dear children of the night...it’s time for the Monstermaster13 Halloween Spooktacular countdown.    All through September and October,   I will be highlighting horror movies,  horror comedies and anything horror related in general.  So be prepared for lots of screams,  scream queens,  monsters,  and all things that dare to go bump in the night!  Buwahaha! *lightning and thunder is heard* And what could be a better movie to kick it all off,  than the underrated comedy classic Transylvania 6-5000.    No,  this has nothing to do with the Bugs Bunny short of t...

Last night in my sleep I was haunted by a creature so horrifying it made me scream like a banshee,  this beast hailed from Essex and had a British accent,   was 6'ft tall and was all hairy and monstrous,   he looked like a werewolf from the belly of Hades and he got me,   he turned me into him.   Who was the monster,  you ask? It was....Russell Brand.  *the sound of horrified screams is heard*

It's September...and you know what that means?  Only one month to October...and you know what that means?  Halloween!  Which also holds two other significant events,   one being the birthday of my favorite comedian ever John Candy,  and the second being the anniversary of how me and WarriorsRPGMembah  first became friends on Deviantart.    Plus,  i've got tons of halloween movie reviews to work on and several horror stories to do as well.   So without further adu,  it's showtime.        

Chris: Hello everyone and welcome back to Monstermaster13’s reviews -   it’s time for another edition of the Walken-A-Thon. Tonights movie is a very good example of Walken at his most vampiric, it is titled The Comfort Of Strangers and  it is based on a short novel by Ian McEwan.  Paul Schrader is the director of this movie,  he also directed one of my favorite movies the 1982 remake of Cat People. You know that classic fairy tale about the two human children who were orphans and went off into the woods only to be lured to a candy house by a witch who fattened them up?   Well this movie is what you might call a modern version of that story. Our two leads are a British couple played by Rupert Everett - (who you might know as Dr Claw in the live action Inspector Gadget movie and the voice of Prince Charming in the Shrek franchise) and the late Natasha Richardson. Both of them are vacationing in the lovely town of Venice,  it is explained ...

*a special halloween version of the Monstermaster13 productions introduction starts with the opening theme which sounds like a mix of the Beetlejuice and Tales From The Crypt themes as performed by Danny Elfman* (We see an old mansion,  the doors of the old mansion open as the tracking shot takes us all the way through the mansion,  down to the basement - where a lab of sorts,  we see one of the coffins creek open -  and suddenly Chris the Alpha Walken pops out of it) Chris: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr!   I have returned.    Surrender your blood and cowbell to me or you all will become my Walkeny minions forever!  Muwahahaha!   *He roars,  bearing his sharpened teeth* Oh,  i’m sorry.   Did I frighten you?   If I did….then I apologize.   I’m just getting into the holiday spirit. Because my friends,   it is October -  which as you humans know,  mean it is the season for horror and all kinds of ...

Monstermaster13 reviews:   Around the Bend ------------------------------------------ Chris: Hello and welcome back to Monstermaster13's reviews....I am continuining on with the Walken-A-Thon reviews. Originally I planned on watching and reviewing the 1998 film Trance/The Eternal/Kiss of The Mummy but unfortunately....I couldn't find a single place to watch it online and most of the ones that do have it -  either have it as a torrent or on a site you have to pay for it using your credit card or something. So instead i'm going to be reviewing a different Walken movie.    This time I am going to review the 2004 film Around the Bend. Now this is a heart-warming family drama starring Chris Walken as Turner Lair,   an ex-con man who reunites with his estranged grandson Jason (Josh Lucas) and the two go on a road trip together. Michael Caine is also in this movie too and this movie is extremely entertaining and quite charming. It's also a nice...

onstermaster13  reviews:  Best of Chris Walken ---------------------------------------------------- Chris: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Walken-A-Thon segment of Monstermaster13 reviews...i'm everyone's favorite monstrous bloodthirsty Walken with another Walken review. This time I will be reviewing Saturday Night Live:  The Best of Christopher Walken.   But first a little backstory. Everyone is already probably familiar with the backstory behind Saturday Night Live and how it originated in the 70's up until today but i'm just going to get right to the good stuff here, so you lovely humans can sit back and enjoy as I review this masterpiece. Walken is part of the Five-Timers hosts club along with a few other  notable names which means he is one of the 5 reoccuring hosts/guests on the show. The Best of Christopher Walken is a compliation of his greatest skits including Ed Glosser: Trivial Psychic which is a parody of his Johnny Smith...

Chris: Hello humans and welcome back to the Walken-A-Thon.  We have come a long way since I started doing these Walken themed reviews...so I thought that I might treat you all with something special. The movie I am reviewing tonight is the 2003 action comedy The Rundown - which in other countries is called Welcome To The Jungle. Directed by Peter Berg this stars wrestling superstar turned action hero Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.    For those wrestling fans out there….you would know that Dwayne is known for his WWE persona of ‘The Rock’ and for his moves like the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow. In this movie he plays a bounty hunter named Beck who is asked to go to Brazil to retrieve the long lost son of his employer.   The long lost son is the sidekick in this movie and he is played by Seann William Scott. You might know him as Stiffler in the popular American Pie series and as the voice of Crash in Ice Age 2 or 3. At first our hero is reluctant ...

Chris: Hello humans,  monsters,  Walken fans and fellow bloodthirsty creatures of the night -  Chris the alpha Walken here with another episode of my Walken reviews.   I’ve been a little under the weather recently due to my powers suffering from a mental block,  which has made me think i’m not as powerful and Walkeny as I was.   But luckily it’s nothing that cowbell can’t fix.   My master has instructed me to go and see the movie Jersey Boys in hopes of fixing this problem,  but I have so many Walken movies to go through that it will be difficult to find time to put it in. You know what I love about being a Walken?  Being able to use my hypnosis to hypnotize people and convert them into fellow Walkens just like me.   I like the hypnosis/mind control aspect that comes with my powers and as such i’m going to review a movie which has that very element in it. Released in 1972,  that movie is The Mind Snatchers.  A...

Things To Do In Denver Review ------------------------------------------ Chris: Hello humans,  my name is Chris the alpha Walken and welcome back to another episode of Walken reviews.   Now as you know,   Walken is a master when it comes to playing shady or villainous characters as he does it in a way that is beyond hypnotic. This movie i’m reviewing is one of the following,  released in 1995 -  this is Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead.   Directed by Gary Fleder.    So sit back and relax as I tell you all about this underrated classic. It features an all star cast including Andy Garcia,  Treat Williams,  Steve Buscemi,  Gabrielle Anwar,  Fairuza Balk,  Christopher Lloyd (yes,  Doc Brown from Back To The Future) and of course Chris Walken in what I call his second most hypnotic performance yet. I will not be talking about the plot because I am pretty sure that we’ve all seen it,  but ...

Chris: Hello my lovely Walkenized subjects and fellow lovers of all things Walkeny,  it is time for another review with yours truly -   Chris the Alpha Walken,  your prince of darkness and patron saint of cowbell. Ah,  it’s late March and do you know that means?   That’s right,  it’s time for another installment of the Walken-A-Thon!  Now I originally intended the Walken-A-Thon to be exclusively a two month only thing during March and April considering  Christopher Walken’s actual b-day is on the last day of  March,   but there were so many Walken movies and Walken related media to go over -   I expanded it to be an all year round tradition. For those who are just new to it,  allow me to explain how it goes,  I -  Chris the alpha Walken,  a quasi-vampiric creature who looks and sounds like Walken himself -  review movies with Walken in them or anything Walken related in general.   Each...

America’s Sweethearts Review Disclaimer: This is a review of a Christopher Walken movie from a fictional vampire-like monster that is named after him.   This is mostly part of the Walken reviews series and is made to be humorous in nature. ------------------------------------ Chris: Hello dear human readers,  creatures of the night and fellow Walkens.   My name is Christopher,  the alpha Walken and i’m doing an extensive study on humans and how they perceive my kind, humans are very peculiar creatures aren’t they?   They have no claws or razor sharp pointed teeth but they can still hold their own on occasion. They tell such strange stories about us Walkens,  they portray us as villains.  When we only scare and punish those who are bad.   We are actually quite polite and nurturing.  We only get violent if we are threatened. Anyway...I think it’s time I got into doing another fabulous Walkeny review.   Well as I me...

Chris: Hello humans,  monsters and loyal Walkenized minions.   It is i,  your cowbell-crazed bloodthirsty host -  Chris the alpha Walken. It’s been quite the while since I,   Chris -  have reviewed a Walken movie to continue on the Walken a-thon hasn’t it...well of course it has.  I've been a very busy Walken recently but i've still been keeping in touch with my Walkenized minions and making new Walkens out of my faithful human readers. Last time I took a look at Trance,  The Comfort Of Strangers and the King Of New York.  All three of which were great movies with Walken in them. Now the Walken-A-Thon will continue with my review of the latest Walken flick I watched, the 2001 comedy Joe Dirt. This is the third Happy Madison production that has been reviewed thus far,   in my earlier installment I already reviewed Click..well back when I was a human that is, and my human form Nathan reviewed Bedtime Stories. I also...

Monstermaster13 reviews: King of New York Disclaimer: Like before this is a review by a fictional character and is not to be taken seriously,  any problems or issues are best put aside for this. ---------------------------------------- Chris: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Walken-A-Thon,  well it’s about time I talked about this movie.   This movie is THE Walken movie.  The movie in which Walken is at his most hypnotic. That movie of course is King of New York,  released in 1990.   Next to the Godfather,  this is one of the most well known mafia movies. I’m not going to describe the plot of this movie because you’ve all seen it and you already know what it’s about.   All I can tell you is that it is very gripping and the first collaboration between Walken and Abel Ferrara. This movie focuses on Frank White who is played by Walken,  and he is a terrific character,  Walken’s performance is perfect. The sup...

Blast From The Past Review ------------------------------------------------ Chris: Hello everyone and welcome back to Monstermaster13’s reviews segment.  I’m everyone’s favorite bloodthirsty alpha Walken,  Chris. Well the Walken-A-Thon lives once again as there is more Walkeness than ever before.  Which is a glorious thing.  One can never have enough Walken. Because there is so much Walkeny joy I wish to share with all of you lucky humans out there,  and I don't intend on stopping any minute. Now this movie i’m reviewing is the first new Walken review I am going to do to catch up on the rest of the Walken legend. But this is a different kind of Walken,  this isn’t evil or bloodthirsty or creepy in anyway -  in fact this is one of the few examples of Walken in a more light-hearted role. This movie is none other than 1999’s Blast From The Past directed by Hugh Wilson,  it revolves around a young man named Adam who is portra...