Corey and Oats in…
You’re A Bad Parent Mel: A Creepypasta Parody Episode
NOTE: A lot of this story reflects my feelings and is also a parody of creepypastas and this is one of the closest times these stories have gotten to having one of those ‘Lost Episodes’ in typical creepypastas, only this is a parody
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Sometimes it just wasn’t easy for Corey and Oats when it came to pleasing Mel, they all tried their best to listen to her problems and help her with them but there are sometimes that they couldn’t help, this was one such case and the case of one such story in which she felt they couldn’t do anything, this is the case of the actual real dark lost episode parody episode of their adventures.
The nightmare as she called began as she tried to fall asleep the night before but all she could hear is Piff and the others saying ‘you’re a bad parent’ over and over in her head, it was driving her to the point of insanity, she was breaking down in tears as she tried to sleep, and ultimately that morning she ended up getting up at 6 am because she could not even rest, all she could think about was Riko and what went wrong with him, she could only think about what was happening to him, she knew he’d be safe with Rachel but she was still afraid of what would happen to him if he didn’t get better, picturing nothing but horrible things happening to him.
She pictured him dying of an illness, being crushed, or even having his lifeforce drained from his body as he became a shrivelled up corpse, and she even imagined him peeling his own guts out of his own body and slicing himself in half. ‘You did this to him.’ ‘It’s your fault.’ ‘No it’s not, I did not mean to.’ ‘You’re a bad parent, you’re a bad parent.’ Piff taunted her within these nightmares of hers. ‘Bad mom, bad mom, you deserve to die.’ Aivyan added.
‘No no please, no please don’t…’ Mel cried….’I’m sorry, i’m sorry.’ In these nightmares she saw herself being swarmed by her own family of cute friends including her aquatic fish themed squishmallows who kept taunting her and telling her how awful she was towards Riko and that she could have saved him but she could not. She dreamed of Riko appearing to her as a ghost, haunting her. ‘Mom, why did you desert me again? Why did you do this to me? Don’t you love me, it’s not my fault this is happening.’ ‘I did not mean to, i’m sorry, i’m sorry.’
Nightmare!Piff jeered at her with piercing blood red eyes and a scowl on his face….’This is all your fault, you were supposed to help him and you did. But now he will not be back until Sunday and he is breaking down again, this is all your fault.’ ‘No no, please i’m sorry.’ ‘Enough, you are unfit to be a parent.’
Which was followed by Nightmare!Piff appearing in the nightmare as a demented judge along with a jury of squishmallows and Snackles as they all put Mel on trial. In this nightmare Oats tried to defend Mel only to fail in his testimony. ‘Enough, the court of Squishmallows declare you are unfit to be a parent and find you to be guilty of child abuse.’ ‘Please Piff don't do this.’
In this nightmare Mel was being dragged away by two squishmallow fish dressed as bailiffs and thrown in a prison cell where she was forced to share a cell with Marcus Norvikof and the ghost of Joan Crawford as she was driven insane by Piff’s voice telling her how much of a bad parent she was. Luckily though Mel woke up from the nightmare, that morning she didn’t feel much like doing or saying anything, she refused to talk to her family or her friends and she was very much just keeping silent and trying to keep herself from crying.
Piff tried to break the silence…’Mel, why are you not talking to us today?’ ‘Because I could not sleep last night. I keep having the same nightmares over and over. I keep having nightmares of you guys all ganging up on me and telling me i’m bad.’ ‘What? No way, we wouldn’t do that.’ ‘Oh but you all did, including you, Piff. You put me on trial and declared that I was guilty and you had me be taken away to a prison cell for child abuse.’ ‘I would never do that.’ ‘You keep telling me i’m a bad parent and Riko appeared as a ghost, telling me that I deserted him.’
‘I would never do that.’ Mel sighed…’I guess i’m unfit to look after any of you. I mean look at how Cinnamon turned out and look at what happened to Riko. Peter Poop and Marv the mosquito are still missing. And it’s a miracle you were even able to turn out well in the end at all.’ ‘Mel, you are acting irrational. It’s just a nightmare. Nightmares cannot hurt you, they’re just dreams.’ ‘I know they’re just dreams and they can’t hurt you in real life but I can’t help but think of them over and over and how horrible they were, maybe i’m unfit to even be alive.’
Mel got out a knife from the kitchen and she poked it into her chest and she began to remove parts of her insides from out of her body. ‘Anything broken can be fixed, except hearts…and what good is something when it’s broken? If I am broken, we’re all broken and cannot be fixed, I cannot live in this world anymore let alone this house.’ Piff watched in horror as Mel began to carve the knife into her own stomach and pull out more of her insides, her guts spilling all over the carpet as Oats was on the brink of tears and close to throwing up.
Aivyan covered his one eye and cried as he saw this happening…’I cannot carry on with these adventures, you’re going to have to do it without me.’ Mel sobbed as she continued to remove more and more of her insides from her body before poking her body with a needle which caused her skin to burst and shrivel up, giving her the same shriveled up corpse look that Riko had in one of the other nightmares she had.
With one last jab, Mel grabbed some pliers and snapped her own hands off as she died from blood loss, the blood spelling out…’B-R-O-K-E-N’ on the floor. It then cut to Corey and Oats looking very horrified as they saw Mel’s dead body being put inside a glass coffin. ‘I guess this means it’s over for us again.’ Corey mumbled, sadly. ‘No not again.’ Aivyan retorted.
The gang all began to pack up and leave as Mel’s coffin was transported into a furnace and cremated, Mel’s soul was put to rest as the end credits appeared on screen as the Corey and Oats theme played but in a somber and slow tone as everyone all packed up and left, leaving only the main gang members and Piff. A message saying ‘we’re all broken, we cannot be fixed, you cannot fix what has been broken to begin with, we’re all broken’ appeared on the screen in a blood red font as a voice saying ‘this is the end of Corey and Oats, thank you so much for reading these adventures, goodbye’ was heard.
That was when Piff decided..’Enough is enough’ and he decided to stop the end credits from finishing and he rewound it all the way back to the beginning. ‘This was a lost episode creepypasta parody, there was not a real death. If Mel had actually died she would have just come back to life anyway. Keep in mind that I only do the fake show ending gag if things get too depressing and hey.. Mel thinks that no one pays attention to these adventures of ours just because other people are into more questionably written series and so forth, she just needs a boost of confidence.’
Mel awoke as she looked up at all her family members in the gang….’Guys, was that real?’ ‘No mommy, it was a lost episode creepypasta and a fake ending. Piff did it to save you, he stopped the fake ending to save you from cancelling our adventures.’ ‘Piff did that for me?’ ‘Yes I did, none of what you did was real.’ ‘So I didn’t really spill out all of my guys and die?’ ‘No, you are very much alive.’ ‘And thank goodness you are. Because we’d be nowhere without you.’ Anglo responded.
‘I guess I took it a bit too personal, you were right, dreams are just dreams and sometimes we let what others say get to us. In which case Piff was being a bit too cruel towards me because I kept hearing him call me a bad parent.’ ‘I am sorry, I am very sorry. I would never say such a thing to you and i’m sorry your paranoid brain made you think that I would. The truth is that I do believe in you and I know it’s not your fault. Riko is going to be okay, you just need a confidence boost.’ ‘I do?’ ‘Yes, and luckily I know someone who can help us. He’s a celebrity ghost that I invited here with some magic to help you with this problem, his name is Chris Farley, he’s a comedian who played a motivational speaker, he has been hiding where the fridge is keeping your chocolate fish safe for the past 4 hours but he’s about ready to come and help you, hey Chris, Mel is ready.’
The ghost of Chris Farley manifested in the bedroom….’Thanks Piff, as you all know my name is Chris Farley and I am a celebrity ghost, and I played a character on Saturday Night Live who was a motivational speaker and his name is Matt Foley. I am a celebrity ghost, I passed away when I was 33, I never had a divorce because I never married and as a ghost I sometimes like to hang out in…a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! Now my pufferfish friend tells me you are in need of a boost in confidence, is that right?’ ‘Yes, I just feel like I am a bad parent because of what happened to Riko. I mean I did my best to teach that rizmo how to get better and helped him discover his voice but he’s just gone and glitched on me and he’s gone and won’t be better until Sunday. I feel like I suck as a parent and should probably give up op-shopping for new family members.’
‘Let me tell ya a little story about someone who was in a similar predicament to you, there was this person who thought they were bad at parenting because their kid was built different than most kids and they thought there was nothing that could save them, and you know what all his whining and crying amounted to? JACK SQUAT! You have to keep going no matter what, take it from me. I always gave it my all, even when I was struggling to breathe during my final years, you can’t let some silly nightmares get in the way of what you enjoy, everything breaks, legs and arms get broken when you fall down or get hurt in general, furniture breaks, relationships break when your true love leaves you, your heart breaks when something sad happens, and take it from someone who always did a recurring part of breaking scenery, nothing is truly unbreakable. Anyway I just want to tell you that RIko loves you and that nothing is going to happen to him.’ ‘How do you know that? For all you know.’ ‘For all I know, what? You think he’s going to end up on one of those Whatever Happened to This Celebrity shows? Or that he’s going to be one of those child stars who gets arrested and goes off the rails?’ ‘Well…maybe, I wouldn’t say i’m as bad as Jennette Mccurdy’s mother was but still I think i’m up there.’
“Don’t be down on yourself, Mel.”
“Yeah, you’re better than Jennette’s mom.”
“I’m just as bad though.”
‘What? No, you are not like Jennette Mccurdy’s mother. You’re a lot nicer and more considerate than she was to her daughter. You actually stood up to Dan Schneider after how he treated you and you are a hero for doing that. Would Jenette or Drake Bell’s mother have done what you have done? No they wouldn’t. You are better than them, you are better than every bad mom both in real life and in fiction. True, you’re not perfect but neither is Riko. The fact you love Riko so much and treat him like a son even though he’s not yours in a traditional way, shows you care and it definitely shows that he is in good hands. And he most definitely will not end up as a washed up ex-child star or as a sad depressed loner who lives on a steady diet of government cheese who lives in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!’ ‘Oh thanks Chris, you know you’re right.’
‘No problem, Piff used his magic to bring me here to help you and today I have done just that. I hope you realize just how good you are at doing your job.’ ‘You’re right, Riko is lucky to have me and he is happy to be mine, I should be nicer and gentler.’ They all had afternoon tea together as they cuddled up and played before having dinner.
When they all had dinner Piff smiled as he apologized. ‘It was me that said all those horrible things about you Mel, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, I know I can be an asshole at times but i’ve got a defect, we all have them.’ ‘Of course you do Piff and I am glad you have atoned for your bad actions. You did what you did to save me, you set up a whole fake lost episode creepypasta scenario and a fake show ending to save me. No asshole or monster would have done that, you saved me.’
‘I know, i’m a goooood fish.’ ‘Yes, you are a very good fish.’ Afterwards Mel emailed Jill about their adventure as they all gathered around and played games as Piff and Tangie went fishing and they caught a lot of fish and after catching fish they had a karaoke session and relaxed afterwards. Piff sent Riko a get well soon card and they played games together before unwinding with a relaxation session with Piff and Tangie’s favorite activities including Tangie’s bathbomb guessing game as they all brushed their teeth and got ready for bed.
As they all got ready for bed Piff initiated the closedown sequence with the animated pufferfish, this time the animated pufferfish was depicted dancing and singing in an underwater village which was depicted in the style of Animal Crossing, he floated into a little cozy bedroom as the daytime background transitioned into a night time one and he yawned as his clothes became pajamas in a magical fashion, yawning as he floated onto the bed and brushed his teeth as the goodnight message appeared on screen.
Upon heading into the bedroom Piff jumped into bed with Tangie as he put a special reservation spot for Riko on the bedroom table, he kissed Tangie and he made a very emotional goodnight speech which was: ‘Today I admit I was a terrible person, I kept Mel up all night and told her she was bad for not being there for Riko when he was sick and I gave her nightmares of being punished by me and all her friends, I made her feel depressed and like I hated her, so when she was feeling down we set up this fake creepypasta parody episode and a fake episode ending in order to not only save her but to make her feel better. And I summoned the ghost of Chris Farley to help Mel gain her motivation to carry on again, which worked. I realize now that both she and I were a bit harsh on each-other, I know she wouldn’t really threaten to hurt me or to even send me back to the sea, she was acting like that all those times to teach me a lesson, I have atoned for my actions and I realize we all have flaws and defects, I hope that Riko gets better soon and that he can talk to us once more when it’s over. But for now, goodnight.’
Anglo turned off the light as they all drifted off to sleep, including Piff and now Mel was able to have sweet dreams again because she no longer was plagued with guilt-induced nightmares, and if Piff was to ever insult her again or act like she wasn’t a good parent, she was always going to be there to remind just how made him the internet star he is today to begin with, and she loved him regardless..
And thus their adventure ended but more are coming up, so stay tuned.
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Thank you all so very much for reading this very moving and tragic story, I wrote this and a song to express how I felt about Riko breaking down. I understand that when you get things from a previously loved type of op shop the goods you good aren’t exactly in good condition and I can deal with that, it wasn’t my goal to make him 100% perfect health, I just wanted him to be able to talk and sing with the gang, I gave him love and hugs and told him it’s alright but unfortunately I could not do anything and was out of my depth, I know ‘red’ means ‘unhappy/zombie mode’ in terms of his modes and I tried all I could but I couldn’t understand him.
The instructions I was able to find online but I had to find an English copy of them because the ones I read were in Japanese, and unfortunately unlike Piffy I am not gifted in the art of Japanese language outside of a few words, and of course everyone has defects, me not knowing many languages is one of mine. I just want you to know Riko isn’t just a weird little guy to me, he’s a friend and a family member and family sticks together no matter what, even if there’s a defective family member, families stick together. I hope you all enjoyed this story an I hope you all liked reading it as I did writing it, and by the way if Riko is reading this, stay strong Riko, stay strong.
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