Werebelushi rants: Sex
(We see a male Werebelushi standing inside a bar, he looks and sounds like John Belushi and is dressed in a tuxedo)
Werebelushi:
Hi it's me again That Werebelushi In The Shades with another edition of Werebelushi rants. *sighs*
You know what i'm sick and fucking tired of? People telling me that I should get laid. Seriously is sex all that humans think about these days? If it is then...then those are some one track minds.
What's done in the bedroom should STAY in the bedroom and OUT of our faces. Even advertisements are doing it these days. And why? Because Sex sells that's why.
It's good that you have a job and a real life and all...but really...do you have to keep going on and on about your sex life?
Unlike you...I'm not one track-minded and know there's more to life than just sex you know.
I know that's how kids are born and all that - but that's also the reason for overpopulation.
Also...you know what else you get from sex especially the unprotected kind? AIDS! STDs! Herpes! And every other disease you can think of. And there's nothing romantic about that now is there? No...there isn't.
Look at me...I already got all I want and need right here, I don't need someone giving me love-advice every fucking second of every fucking day.
Ya know, there are some couples that don't even have kids and even they have it better than the ones who do.
Look...it's great that you have real relationships and all...but please for the love of god...KEEP YOUR MUTANT HELLSPAWN BASTARD OFFSPRING AWAY FROM ME!
Now not all of those who have kids are bad, I mean my friend Pauline for example is as nice as they come.
And another thing....it seems that they think the only thing to do on the internet is browse for pornography. The internet is more than just a place to oggle pictures of that hot actress you have a thing for you know!
Remember what I said earlier about sex sells? Well...they're doing it with halloween costumes as well especially the ones for women.
I mean i've seen pretty much sexy everything in costume form, Sexy Freddy Krueger, Sexy Jason Voorhees, Sexy Michael Jackson outfits, Sexy Vampire, Sexy Witch, Sexy Chickens, Sexy Whatever-The-Fuck-You Want!
Just be glad they haven't come up with Sexy Blues Brothers outfits or anything like that.
Look....we ALL know about the birds, bees and of that time in a young human's life where they must settle down and choose a mate.
But it just generally makes them less like humans and more like animals. Heck even MY kind would be more human in comparison.
Sex is fine but do you have to do it all the damn time? It's nauseating, disgusting and makes ME look like a refined gentleman by contrast.
And haven't you seen those horror movies? There's also sex scenes in horror movies these days. There's ALWAYS a couple making out or doing the nasty right when the scary stuff is happening and then BAM! they end up dead. See what I mean? Sex kills. Even Scream got that right!
I'm trying to watch a movie with my friends right, and this couple in one of the theater rows starts making out. All the while i'm thinking..."Can't they just save THAT for the bedroom so we don't have to see them do it in public?" .
Look if you wanna reproduce...do it in the privacy of your own room NOT in public where everyone can see!
This has been That Werebelushi With The Shades and now if you excuse me, i'm going to write an angry complaint letter to whoever came up with the idea for those "Sexy Costumes".
Werebelushi:
Hi it's me again That Werebelushi In The Shades with another edition of Werebelushi rants. *sighs*
You know what i'm sick and fucking tired of? People telling me that I should get laid. Seriously is sex all that humans think about these days? If it is then...then those are some one track minds.
What's done in the bedroom should STAY in the bedroom and OUT of our faces. Even advertisements are doing it these days. And why? Because Sex sells that's why.
It's good that you have a job and a real life and all...but really...do you have to keep going on and on about your sex life?
Unlike you...I'm not one track-minded and know there's more to life than just sex you know.
I know that's how kids are born and all that - but that's also the reason for overpopulation.
Also...you know what else you get from sex especially the unprotected kind? AIDS! STDs! Herpes! And every other disease you can think of. And there's nothing romantic about that now is there? No...there isn't.
Look at me...I already got all I want and need right here, I don't need someone giving me love-advice every fucking second of every fucking day.
Ya know, there are some couples that don't even have kids and even they have it better than the ones who do.
Look...it's great that you have real relationships and all...but please for the love of god...KEEP YOUR MUTANT HELLSPAWN BASTARD OFFSPRING AWAY FROM ME!
Now not all of those who have kids are bad, I mean my friend Pauline for example is as nice as they come.
And another thing....it seems that they think the only thing to do on the internet is browse for pornography. The internet is more than just a place to oggle pictures of that hot actress you have a thing for you know!
Remember what I said earlier about sex sells? Well...they're doing it with halloween costumes as well especially the ones for women.
I mean i've seen pretty much sexy everything in costume form, Sexy Freddy Krueger, Sexy Jason Voorhees, Sexy Michael Jackson outfits, Sexy Vampire, Sexy Witch, Sexy Chickens, Sexy Whatever-The-Fuck-You Want!
Just be glad they haven't come up with Sexy Blues Brothers outfits or anything like that.
Look....we ALL know about the birds, bees and of that time in a young human's life where they must settle down and choose a mate.
But it just generally makes them less like humans and more like animals. Heck even MY kind would be more human in comparison.
Sex is fine but do you have to do it all the damn time? It's nauseating, disgusting and makes ME look like a refined gentleman by contrast.
And haven't you seen those horror movies? There's also sex scenes in horror movies these days. There's ALWAYS a couple making out or doing the nasty right when the scary stuff is happening and then BAM! they end up dead. See what I mean? Sex kills. Even Scream got that right!
I'm trying to watch a movie with my friends right, and this couple in one of the theater rows starts making out. All the while i'm thinking..."Can't they just save THAT for the bedroom so we don't have to see them do it in public?" .
Look if you wanna reproduce...do it in the privacy of your own room NOT in public where everyone can see!
This has been That Werebelushi With The Shades and now if you excuse me, i'm going to write an angry complaint letter to whoever came up with the idea for those "Sexy Costumes".
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