Werebelushi rants: Religion
We see a male werebelushi standing outside a library of sorts, dressed in his best Blues Brothers attire and looking like John Belushi and sounding like him)
Werebelushi:
Hello and welcome to another rendition of Werebelushi rants, I'm That Werebelushi in the Shades and here is tonight's rant.
Religion is just so fucked up these days, and in more ways than one. So many different religions, too damn hard to follow any of them.
And if you're not any of those...you're an atheist! Now that's worse. Do you know how fucked up people like that are? Extremely.
I don't care if you're Christian, Hindu, Jewish, an athiest, or whatever the hell religion you're part of - just keep your crap away from me.
We don't need people like that shoving it in our faces! If humans all believe in this godly being that's 'all seeing and all knowing', then...perhaps they can explain this.
If this godly being is so wise and all knowing? Why does he like such a prick? I'm serious. Humans believe in this whatever he is and he treats everyone like pricks.
He's up there in his cloud sitting on his all mighty ass saying to himself: "The sooner I get to kill everyone off the better."
Way to shirk your responsibilities. You almighty jerkass! He's already caused several deaths, diseases and not to mention almost brought upon the end of the world numerous times thanks to the mayans.
Yeah...if he's supposed to be loving? Why is everyone suffering today? Something tells me he is one sadistic bastard. He just likes making other people suffer for his amusement.
So many famous humans - the good ones I know of at least died. They are: John Belushi, Chris Farley, Gilda Radner, Walt Disney, Jim Henson, Vincent Price, Patrick Swze, John Candy, Marlon Brando, Mariyln Monroe, Johnny Carson, Rodney Dangerfield, George Carlin, Elizabeth Taylor, Elvis, Corey Haim, Heath Ledger, Richard Pyror, Steve Irwin...and of course the king of pop himself Michael Jackson and most recently Sly Stallone's kid Sage.
Nice going you almighty moron. You kill off John Belushi but you leave the Belushi that no one likes? Screw you.
And let's not forget what you did to John Candy. Why oh why did you have to take John Candy? He was a fellow big guy comedian like me. And he was one of a kind.
Although I do actually commend you for doing away with Anna Nicole Smith. I hated her anyway and yet some male humans considered her attractive.
They thought that vain, dimwitted, foul-mouthed, selfish, disgusting and not to mention dsigraceful witch was attractive? She married a 80 or year old guy for his money and not to mention her godawful reality show on the E! Channel. And you call ME disgusting? Well I maybe a werebelushi but i'm glad i'm not anything like HER.
I'm glad she's dead.
But here's the thing that really pisses me off about you, almighty one. You killed off Michael Jackson? The king of pop? Michael was such a wonderful person with graceful dance moves and a lovely voice.
For Staten's sake, he was going to do a huge revival concert in London. You've all seen that concert This Is It. Well THAT was going to be his grand tour/comeback. And you had to stop it short like that.
Also...what were you thinking when you killed Jim Henson? This is the man who created the Muppets or as my good idol John Belushi called them - the Mucking Fuppets! Well luckily his company is still in good hands.
Unfortunately since his death the Muppets have been owned by Disney, now I have seen the new Muppet movie and loved it. But as far the Muppets track record in terms of movies...welll...
Muppet Treasure Island was fun, Muppet Christmas Carol was beautiful, Muppets from Space was awesome in it's own way, but A Very Muppet Christmas movie and Muppet Wizard of Oz were both terrible.
Some all powerful deity you are, more like stalker. Seriously, you're always watching people - you're watching them at work, at home, in the car, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, and even when they're asleep. THIS is the guy humans worship?
Let me get this straight...humans worship this so called almighty being that watches them for all eternity and sits up there in his cloud plotting up ways to try and ruin their lives or trying to kill them? That's fucked up beyond all reason.
If given the choice before going to Heaven or Hell...at this rate given what a crap job The Almighty God Of Useless has done with the place....i'd pick Hell.
At least Hell would be like a never-ending party and I could invite all my equally as monstrous friends. It would be like National Lampoon's Animal House but with a double dose of John Belushi, me and the real deal.
There would be booze, and plenty of awesome rock songs to rock out to. Plus....who would want to end up in heaven anyway? Eternal bliss sucks.
George Carlin was right, religion IS bullshit and always will be. And not only that but it's so fucked up.
For the atheists and religious nutjobs out there, I have this to say: Kiss my 5'8 220lb fur covered ass.
I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades and now if you excuse me...i'm going off to complain to the idiots over at Landover Baptist.com
Werebelushi:
Hello and welcome to another rendition of Werebelushi rants, I'm That Werebelushi in the Shades and here is tonight's rant.
Religion is just so fucked up these days, and in more ways than one. So many different religions, too damn hard to follow any of them.
And if you're not any of those...you're an atheist! Now that's worse. Do you know how fucked up people like that are? Extremely.
I don't care if you're Christian, Hindu, Jewish, an athiest, or whatever the hell religion you're part of - just keep your crap away from me.
We don't need people like that shoving it in our faces! If humans all believe in this godly being that's 'all seeing and all knowing', then...perhaps they can explain this.
If this godly being is so wise and all knowing? Why does he like such a prick? I'm serious. Humans believe in this whatever he is and he treats everyone like pricks.
He's up there in his cloud sitting on his all mighty ass saying to himself: "The sooner I get to kill everyone off the better."
Way to shirk your responsibilities. You almighty jerkass! He's already caused several deaths, diseases and not to mention almost brought upon the end of the world numerous times thanks to the mayans.
Yeah...if he's supposed to be loving? Why is everyone suffering today? Something tells me he is one sadistic bastard. He just likes making other people suffer for his amusement.
So many famous humans - the good ones I know of at least died. They are: John Belushi, Chris Farley, Gilda Radner, Walt Disney, Jim Henson, Vincent Price, Patrick Swze, John Candy, Marlon Brando, Mariyln Monroe, Johnny Carson, Rodney Dangerfield, George Carlin, Elizabeth Taylor, Elvis, Corey Haim, Heath Ledger, Richard Pyror, Steve Irwin...and of course the king of pop himself Michael Jackson and most recently Sly Stallone's kid Sage.
Nice going you almighty moron. You kill off John Belushi but you leave the Belushi that no one likes? Screw you.
And let's not forget what you did to John Candy. Why oh why did you have to take John Candy? He was a fellow big guy comedian like me. And he was one of a kind.
Although I do actually commend you for doing away with Anna Nicole Smith. I hated her anyway and yet some male humans considered her attractive.
They thought that vain, dimwitted, foul-mouthed, selfish, disgusting and not to mention dsigraceful witch was attractive? She married a 80 or year old guy for his money and not to mention her godawful reality show on the E! Channel. And you call ME disgusting? Well I maybe a werebelushi but i'm glad i'm not anything like HER.
I'm glad she's dead.
But here's the thing that really pisses me off about you, almighty one. You killed off Michael Jackson? The king of pop? Michael was such a wonderful person with graceful dance moves and a lovely voice.
For Staten's sake, he was going to do a huge revival concert in London. You've all seen that concert This Is It. Well THAT was going to be his grand tour/comeback. And you had to stop it short like that.
Also...what were you thinking when you killed Jim Henson? This is the man who created the Muppets or as my good idol John Belushi called them - the Mucking Fuppets! Well luckily his company is still in good hands.
Unfortunately since his death the Muppets have been owned by Disney, now I have seen the new Muppet movie and loved it. But as far the Muppets track record in terms of movies...welll...
Muppet Treasure Island was fun, Muppet Christmas Carol was beautiful, Muppets from Space was awesome in it's own way, but A Very Muppet Christmas movie and Muppet Wizard of Oz were both terrible.
Some all powerful deity you are, more like stalker. Seriously, you're always watching people - you're watching them at work, at home, in the car, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, and even when they're asleep. THIS is the guy humans worship?
Let me get this straight...humans worship this so called almighty being that watches them for all eternity and sits up there in his cloud plotting up ways to try and ruin their lives or trying to kill them? That's fucked up beyond all reason.
If given the choice before going to Heaven or Hell...at this rate given what a crap job The Almighty God Of Useless has done with the place....i'd pick Hell.
At least Hell would be like a never-ending party and I could invite all my equally as monstrous friends. It would be like National Lampoon's Animal House but with a double dose of John Belushi, me and the real deal.
There would be booze, and plenty of awesome rock songs to rock out to. Plus....who would want to end up in heaven anyway? Eternal bliss sucks.
George Carlin was right, religion IS bullshit and always will be. And not only that but it's so fucked up.
For the atheists and religious nutjobs out there, I have this to say: Kiss my 5'8 220lb fur covered ass.
I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades and now if you excuse me...i'm going off to complain to the idiots over at Landover Baptist.com
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