Werebelushi rants: Being A Werebelushi

(A male werebelushi who looks and sounds like John Belushi is seen sitting at a newsdesk)

Werebelushi:

Hello ladies and gentlemen and monsters of all ages, i'm That Werebelushi in the Shades and it's time for what I like to call Werebelushi's Rants.

Folks, being a werebelushi ain't easy. I get a lot of hate from human beings and sometimes from other monsters.

Like this one instance in which it's happened to me. I'm at a monster convention with my friends, right and this joker who is somesort of a troll/orc hybrid comes up to me and complains...

This is what he says: "How can you be a Wereversion of a human male celebrity who happens to be dead? A Human-human does NOT make sense!"

What? A wereversion of a celebrity doesn't make sense to him? Well...it isn't, that's part of the fun of it.

Oh for the love of Staten. Stop bitching already. It's not supposed to make sense, and i don't want to have to explain the jokes to you because there would be NO joke if I did.

And also...yes I KNOW that Were-in-werewolf means man not turn into or 'disgusting furry based on'. But really...he shouldn't be the one complaining especially if he is part orc and part troll.

You think it's easy being a Werebelushi? Well it ain't. It's extremely difficult at times.

It's hard finding a jacket or shirt that won't be ripped at the back by the quills that grow out of your back when you transform!

It's also a never-ending struggle trying to keep the damn thing a secret from friends or family especially if those damn instincts get in the way! Werebelushi instincts can be a real pain.

Being part John Belushi isn't always a party you know! I got tons of people asking me questions and some of them just ask THE most idiotic and offensive questions ever like for example: "Are you going to die of a drug overdose like that junkie comedian you are named after?" "Is it true that you're also a Snorlax?"

To which my answer is.....No! I am not going to end up dead of a drug-overdose like the real John Belushi, you moron! I'm alive. And I don't even do drugs anyway...so how can you say such a disgusting, offensive thing?

And to the other question my answer is. Oh ha ha, very funny. Calling me a 'Snorlax' because i'm overweight.

How very clever. NOT! I'm sick and tired of my kind being called stuff like that because we're portly.

Look i'm not all fat you know, I have a bit of muscle on me as well. And yes I do have a round, furry stomach but that's part of my build. I'm 220lbs of fur and fat with a bit of muscle and a LOT of awesomeness.

And i'm pretty strong and agile too and could pretty much kick your ass from here to Australia if you're not careful.

Besides....One of my other furry friends happens to BE a real Snorlax (the pokemon, not the insult) and even HE gets offended when people refer to him as that.

One night i'm going out with some friends and this human male bodyguard type guy hassles me and stops me from entering with them. And why? Because of the no-monsters allowed policy. Which sucks!

All I want to do is hang out with my friedns but all these people give me a hard time.

Can't a werebelushi have fun and do what he does best without being pestered? Yeeesh. Hey you there, humans. You think you've got it easy? Well try being a werebelushi like me and see how YOU like it!

Thank you i'm That Werebelushi In The Shades, signing off.

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