Monstermaster13 reviews: Envy
Monstermaster13 reviews: Envy
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Nathan:
Hello and welcome back to Walken-A-Thon here at Monstermaster13 Reviews. Since this is the Walken-A-Thon....I thought it was about time I brought up this movie.
This is one of those movies that is considered bad or a flop but has a following like Killer Klowns, Nothing But Trouble, and Van Helsing to name a few.
Released in 2004 the movie is called Envy and stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black as Tim and Nick..these two guys are neighbours/best friends who are very different from one another. Tim is very hardworking while Nick is eccentric and a day-dreamer.
One day Nick gets a genius idea for an invention - what is this invention called you may ask? Vapoo-rize...it was a special spray that can get rid of animal droppings. He tests the invention out and becomes famous overnight.
This unfortunately gets in the way of their friendship and Tim gets jealous, which leads to him going into a bar one night and encountering the ever-so-unusual J-Man, a strange looking drifter played by Chris Walken.
Of course J-Man steals the show, well...what does one expect? It's Walken. He steals the show everytime. And does he have any great Walken quotes? He certainly does. Starting with his story about his former job working at a pretzel stand - the best part of it is that...if it's a quality pretzel it doesn't need salt. Wait a second...did I just say that? That was weird.
Anyway...J-Man's got some really terrific lines and I love his delivery - some of the lines he says are just random. Like when he's on Tim's bed and he says "Hats make my head itch". But that's part of the beauty of a Walken performance...even if you don't know what he's talking about, you know that it's amazing.
Like when he delivers this iconic line.....
(J Man:
Good for you, man...Good FOR YOU.)
Is that awesome or what? I told ya these were good. And this movie is one you should consider watching if you don't. This is good, very good.. *His voice goes lower* Good for you...good FOR YOU.
Wait? What the hell? Why did I just say that? My voice sounds different.. what the hell is happening?
*Legrandzilla suddenly appears on screen*
(Legrand:
I'll tell you what's happening...Cowbell.)
Oh no...no..no....you're not going to hypnotize me when i'm in the middle of a review...I can't allow it.
(Legrand:
Relax, close your eyes...and listen to the sound of my voice)
I'm telling you it won't work. The Walken Hypnosis Program doesn't work on internet reviewers...nor does it work on supernaturals like me.
(Legrand:
Listen to my voice...ignore all the background noise, relax..and let your arms, legs and neck and head hang loose and feel them becoming more relaxed. Feel yourself becoming more relaxed.)
No...it's not gonna work...i'm telling you it's NOT gonna work...it's not gonna work...it's...*he suddenly feels more relaxed* Ooh..i..i..*He moans slightly*
(Legrand:
I am going to count down from 10...and when I reach 1, I will say a trigger phrase - it will trigger your trance.)
Yes...master.....I will do as you say.
(Legrand:
10....9...8....7..6...5..4..3...2..1. I will give you a trigger word - this will be the trigger word to use if you wish to go back into the trance...that trigger word is...Cowbell.)
*He falls into a trance-like state* Cowbell. Gotta...have..morrrrre.
(Legrand:
Very good...now...I will repeat the word...this will intitiate the next phrase of the trance. Cowbell.
Whenever you hear that word...you will become Walken.
Now focus....concentrate and take deep breaths, imagine and visualize yourself as Walken or one of his many roles.
See yourself with Walken's traits and personality...picture yourself talking in his voice, saying every single one of his mannerisms and quotes. Imagine that you are him.
You are....Waaaalken.)
I am? But I thought I was Nathan Forester aka Monstermaster13.
(Legrand:
Yes, you are Walken. And you know it...you are viewed as monstrous but are kind and highly intelligent...you are talented as well as graceful.
Every word you say...is now his, your thoughts are now his, feel the mental changes taking over gradually as you become more and more Walken-like.
As the process continues..feel yourself taking on more and more of his traits, visualize yourself being him - and feel his aura flowing through you.
You have always been like this..you've always been different, but you don't care...because you are Walken, feel your own personality traits slowly becoming his, focus until you and him are one.
You are Walken..everything you say are now his words..in his voice, you have his traits...you like this change a lot...you don't mind it..you don't mind people being scared of you...you like it, and you wouldn't change it for the world.)
I am...Walken?
(Legrand:
Yes...you are. You are Chris Walken. And you desire more cowbell...you cannot live without it.)
I...cannot live without cowbell...i want more cowbell.
(Legrand:
You don't just want more cowbell, you crave it, you desire more of it...you can never get enough. The sound of a cowbell is like music to your ears. It is hypnotic but appealing...it is the one thing that is more important to you than other things.)
What about breathing? What about surviving? What about family?
(Legrand:
You don't need to worry about your family and friends....all you need is cowbell, that and lots and lots of delicious blood.)
I can still breathe and think, right?
(Legrand:
Yes...but you have more Walken-like traits, and you are a very worthy adversary for any actor on screen. Cowbell...)
I am?
(Legrand:
Yes....you are imposing but charming, you have an aura that frightens and attracts people at the same time...you are mysterious but just about awesome at everything you do.)
I am awesome at everything I do.
(Legrand:
Whenever you speak...it is entrancing, no matter what word comes out of your mouth...people can't help but be entranced by it.)
Yes...*snaps out of the trance* Wait..I mean stop! I want to finish this review. May I?
(Legrand:
Very well. )
Anyway....I heavily reccomend watching this movie if you haven't seen it already, the acting is great, the jokes work well, and I love everything about this movie and I don't get why people hate it so much.
I give it 10 out of 10, two monstrous clawed thumbs up and a high reccomendation. Especially if you are a Stiller, Black, or Walken fan.
I'm Monstermaster13 and...
(Legrand:
Cowbell.)
And I have a sudden craving for more cowbell. Stay tuned for more Walken-A-Thon reviews.
--------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
Nathan:
Hello and welcome back to Walken-A-Thon here at Monstermaster13 Reviews. Since this is the Walken-A-Thon....I thought it was about time I brought up this movie.
This is one of those movies that is considered bad or a flop but has a following like Killer Klowns, Nothing But Trouble, and Van Helsing to name a few.
Released in 2004 the movie is called Envy and stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black as Tim and Nick..these two guys are neighbours/best friends who are very different from one another. Tim is very hardworking while Nick is eccentric and a day-dreamer.
One day Nick gets a genius idea for an invention - what is this invention called you may ask? Vapoo-rize...it was a special spray that can get rid of animal droppings. He tests the invention out and becomes famous overnight.
This unfortunately gets in the way of their friendship and Tim gets jealous, which leads to him going into a bar one night and encountering the ever-so-unusual J-Man, a strange looking drifter played by Chris Walken.
Of course J-Man steals the show, well...what does one expect? It's Walken. He steals the show everytime. And does he have any great Walken quotes? He certainly does. Starting with his story about his former job working at a pretzel stand - the best part of it is that...if it's a quality pretzel it doesn't need salt. Wait a second...did I just say that? That was weird.
Anyway...J-Man's got some really terrific lines and I love his delivery - some of the lines he says are just random. Like when he's on Tim's bed and he says "Hats make my head itch". But that's part of the beauty of a Walken performance...even if you don't know what he's talking about, you know that it's amazing.
Like when he delivers this iconic line.....
(J Man:
Good for you, man...Good FOR YOU.)
Is that awesome or what? I told ya these were good. And this movie is one you should consider watching if you don't. This is good, very good.. *His voice goes lower* Good for you...good FOR YOU.
Wait? What the hell? Why did I just say that? My voice sounds different.. what the hell is happening?
*Legrandzilla suddenly appears on screen*
(Legrand:
I'll tell you what's happening...Cowbell.)
Oh no...no..no....you're not going to hypnotize me when i'm in the middle of a review...I can't allow it.
(Legrand:
Relax, close your eyes...and listen to the sound of my voice)
I'm telling you it won't work. The Walken Hypnosis Program doesn't work on internet reviewers...nor does it work on supernaturals like me.
(Legrand:
Listen to my voice...ignore all the background noise, relax..and let your arms, legs and neck and head hang loose and feel them becoming more relaxed. Feel yourself becoming more relaxed.)
No...it's not gonna work...i'm telling you it's NOT gonna work...it's not gonna work...it's...*he suddenly feels more relaxed* Ooh..i..i..*He moans slightly*
(Legrand:
I am going to count down from 10...and when I reach 1, I will say a trigger phrase - it will trigger your trance.)
Yes...master.....I will do as you say.
(Legrand:
10....9...8....7..6...5..4..3...2..1. I will give you a trigger word - this will be the trigger word to use if you wish to go back into the trance...that trigger word is...Cowbell.)
*He falls into a trance-like state* Cowbell. Gotta...have..morrrrre.
(Legrand:
Very good...now...I will repeat the word...this will intitiate the next phrase of the trance. Cowbell.
Whenever you hear that word...you will become Walken.
Now focus....concentrate and take deep breaths, imagine and visualize yourself as Walken or one of his many roles.
See yourself with Walken's traits and personality...picture yourself talking in his voice, saying every single one of his mannerisms and quotes. Imagine that you are him.
You are....Waaaalken.)
I am? But I thought I was Nathan Forester aka Monstermaster13.
(Legrand:
Yes, you are Walken. And you know it...you are viewed as monstrous but are kind and highly intelligent...you are talented as well as graceful.
Every word you say...is now his, your thoughts are now his, feel the mental changes taking over gradually as you become more and more Walken-like.
As the process continues..feel yourself taking on more and more of his traits, visualize yourself being him - and feel his aura flowing through you.
You have always been like this..you've always been different, but you don't care...because you are Walken, feel your own personality traits slowly becoming his, focus until you and him are one.
You are Walken..everything you say are now his words..in his voice, you have his traits...you like this change a lot...you don't mind it..you don't mind people being scared of you...you like it, and you wouldn't change it for the world.)
I am...Walken?
(Legrand:
Yes...you are. You are Chris Walken. And you desire more cowbell...you cannot live without it.)
I...cannot live without cowbell...i want more cowbell.
(Legrand:
You don't just want more cowbell, you crave it, you desire more of it...you can never get enough. The sound of a cowbell is like music to your ears. It is hypnotic but appealing...it is the one thing that is more important to you than other things.)
What about breathing? What about surviving? What about family?
(Legrand:
You don't need to worry about your family and friends....all you need is cowbell, that and lots and lots of delicious blood.)
I can still breathe and think, right?
(Legrand:
Yes...but you have more Walken-like traits, and you are a very worthy adversary for any actor on screen. Cowbell...)
I am?
(Legrand:
Yes....you are imposing but charming, you have an aura that frightens and attracts people at the same time...you are mysterious but just about awesome at everything you do.)
I am awesome at everything I do.
(Legrand:
Whenever you speak...it is entrancing, no matter what word comes out of your mouth...people can't help but be entranced by it.)
Yes...*snaps out of the trance* Wait..I mean stop! I want to finish this review. May I?
(Legrand:
Very well. )
Anyway....I heavily reccomend watching this movie if you haven't seen it already, the acting is great, the jokes work well, and I love everything about this movie and I don't get why people hate it so much.
I give it 10 out of 10, two monstrous clawed thumbs up and a high reccomendation. Especially if you are a Stiller, Black, or Walken fan.
I'm Monstermaster13 and...
(Legrand:
Cowbell.)
And I have a sudden craving for more cowbell. Stay tuned for more Walken-A-Thon reviews.
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