More Superhuman Than Human.

 The word normal has different meanings depending on the person..some people think that normal is the opposite of weird and those type of people shun others for being creative/unusual/different, they are ignorant and sometimes even own petty hate-sites, hateblogs dedicated to such a thing.  I'm one of those guys that is weird all the time and thus is normal in the sense that my weird personality is who I normally am,  I am different than most people, that weird gimmick is me I am weird, I tackle subjects nobody dares talk about and if those people view me as a laughing stock, freak, monster or psychopath...they have issues themselves.    If you enter my territory and think what you've seen is disgusting, then I have done my job, I hope you are satisified with your visit,  hope to see you again soon..in your nightmares that is.

Because when you hire someone whose primary goal is to scare the crap out of you, you get what you pay for, and when you mess with that person, you get what you deserve.  Just ask those guys in the corner, poor unfortunate things...they thought they could try to steal from my book of monsters, but ultimately...their attempt in claiming the book resulted in the book claiming them instead.  And that poor sap, oh boy...let's just say the price to pay for fandom is one that will cost you...in every single way including your soul.  'Should have kept your opinion on my work to yourself. No wonder you and your supposed waifu are dead wrong for each-other.'

"But I..."

"You should have learned that ages ago.  You couldn't keep your mouth shut."

"But..."

"I know, you think i'm creepy, thanks for the compliment."

Have you ever wondered what your dreams mean?  And whether or not they make sense, chances are you have although dreams don't make sense anyway, if they did they wouldn't be dreams, but I like to  think mine are telling me something. You see i've been having these weird dreams about Dan Aykroyd who I am a massive simp of and well how do I put this?  I dream about being him. Don't ask why, I just do.  And due to my supernatural powers, it happens, oh yes it happens.  On Friday night I was resting in my bed which is shaped like a coffin because duh...half-vampire, gotta have one of those.

On that particular night I was dreaming about my dreamself...you know, I adore my dream self but I wish he'd admit that he wouldn't mind the idea of becoming Dan, I've accepted it, he should too.  And in this particular dream I was in the role of a helper to my dream-self and thinking about becoming Dan although my dream-self would have been fighting it.  'I wish that happened to me.'  'No, what are you doing?'  'Relax me,  i'm helping you.'  'With what?' 'You clearly like Dan but are ashamed to admit it.'  My dreamself shook his head and hissed, he liked Dan Aykroyd that is true but he was ashamed of it, and I was helping him to fix that problem.   He blushed, as cool and confident as he thought he was...he was just as prone to simping over Dan as I was.   

"I don't understand...if I like Dan, why am I ashamed of it?"

'Because you are self conscious like I am. You are an Aykroyd simp and you know it but you don't think people will like you because of it.  I know from experience.'  'You do?' 'Yes, I do, it's very easy to understand...I can help you feel better about it.'  'How?'  'I can show you, all you gotta do is relax.'   I concentrated and so did my dream-self,  I morphed into Dan and showed him it was okay to like the idea of it happening.  A few moments later I awoke from that dream, and I began to feel odd.

"Oh my....I wonder if this is a sign of something."

"Possibly...look."

I stretched for a little bit and as I did, I saw hairs slowly sprouting on my arms, not too thick and not to much of them, and my skin was clearing up but also aging up to 68 years yet I still retained my immortality factor.   My arms broadened as my hands enlarged,  my night-shirt felt unnaturally tight as my chest and torso broadened, some hairs sprouting across the former..a few of the buttons of my night-shirt popped off, but my night-shirt grew to fit my new build as my stomach enlarged. I didn't mind this though.   I watched as my legs altered and my rear inflated a little.  I don't care what anyone thinks, if you don't think THICC (yes I know what dummy thicc means) Dan Aykroyd is hot, you don't have a heart or a soul.  But I do,  i've got a lot of that.

"Mmmm...wow, I don't look half bad. I was kind of expecting this to suck or be horrifying."

"But you like it, right?"

My height slowly shot up from 5'7 to 6'1 as my shoulders and back broadened, to be honest I had always been worried about how others percieve me, but to honest I couldn't care less...those guys are just stupid, they don't appreciate real beauty.  This is real, this is natural and this is me. I'm the king of weird, and I own it.   My neckline lengthened while my hair darkened a little, becoming wavier than usual..not that I care about my hair or anything, i'm not that vain.  My eyebrows thickened as my brow furrowed, my eyes widening as one turned green and the other remained brown.  My nose broadened while a small indent popped down the middle of it,  I twitched my nose a few times as my features slowly plumped up and reshaped themselves.

My face definitely now resembled Dan's, which was kind of hot to be honest...I blushed, noticing my new face and chuckling a little.  My jawline broadened and then cleared my throat as my voice deepened, altering to become more mature sounding. It deepened a bit more and developed a Canadian accent of sorts.  In a way this felt extremely natural, I felt like I was him...could that be?  Could it be that I always had been Dan? Maybe all those dreams were meaning something to me after all, maybe those weren't dreams.  Maybe I am him,  maybe it's like we were twins.

Mentality-wise that is how I was feeling as I felt like I was being influenced by him and gaining his personality and memories,  I had always been afraid of showing myself because I didn't like being judged. Yes I admit I can be a bit of an asshole but it's so hard to be nice sometimes especially to people who do nothing but complain and think I want to harrass them, even if I admire that person, yeah i'm a vindictive little dickhead who drags that person's besties and lovers into the drama and vilify them and even vilify my ex-besties and vilify that person in general, but come on...i'm not perfect.

I breathed and in out several times as my personality altered along with my memories, I was finally able to relax and be who I was,  I remembered that I wasn't 'Nathan' as my name suggested, I was..Daniel, that's right, but everyone called me 'Dan', and i'm an Aykroyd, yes that's who I am...Dan Aykroyd, and everyone loves me.  Yeah i'm a weirdo and I believe in myself,  I am weird...but what's weird to you is normal to me.  After all, what is normal but a word?   And not everyone's definition of the word is the very same one.  It was not just a dream anymore, it was real and i'm real too.  And yes, I hear everyone's voices in my heads too, Beldar often communicates to me via telepathy and I hear Mike Weber giving me 'saintly' advice in my mind.  These were all my 'creations' and I was the one who portrayed them,  all of these guys were mine.  

"If only my boys could be here."

"Oh but we are."

I saw them materialize before me,  Clifford Skridlow gave me a big hug as Elwood high-fived me.  In addition to this Boolie thanked me for letting him and the others out. 'No problem you guys,  I figured that we all needed to break out tonight. And what better time than now? Besides, you know you all are mine and I'll take care of you.'  'Even me, Mr Aykroyd sir?'  'Uhhhh..not you though Tom, I regret creating you.'   Tom Everett pouted but I reassured him...'that doesn't mean I hate you though.'  'Aaaaaaw..'

"So what do we do now?"

"We talk to the fans of course."

"Sounds like fun, let's do this."

And thus I began with my main mission, I wanted to share my creations with all of my fans and followers and to help my dear friend,  he had been keeping me in his head for several nights now and I felt it was my duty to bring them closer to fruitition, why would he be ashamed of keeping me?  We are basically twins in a lot of ways.  My story is far from other, as I plan on creating more adventures involving me and these characters of mine, and connecting them all together.  It's weird, but it's my world.  If you're a good person who will like me as a person and won't treat me like I don't have feelings,  then I will let you into my little group.

Don't be afraid,  we're actually quite nice. And by the way, sorry this latest episode didn't come out until after October, we were working on our halloween special.  Happy belated Halloween everyone and happy Friday the 13th,  be sure to say hi to Jason Voorhees when you see him.