WB Rants: Cool Cat.
Werebelushi:
You know what really irks me and pokes my proverbial horns? Cool Cat and his creator Derek Savage. I know this is technically sort of a dead horse except it isn't, but this idiot seriously thought he could do make a franchise out of this monstrosity. Sounds like Chris Chan and Sonichu to me as well, if not even worse. I'd like to apologize to the creators of Barney the Dinosaur, every present Nick Jr show that isn't something like Paw Patrol, every present Disney Jr show that isn't Doc Mcstuffins, Muppet Babies or the classic Playhouse Disney shows...those no longer are the worst excuses for educational children's show characters, this guy is.
What the fuck is Cool Cat? Well...he's an anthropomorphic cat who is supposed to be an anti-bullying mascot, ironic considering that his creator and 'father' is a bully to people who critiqued his movies. Oh great, ANOTHER Uwe Boll type who thinks they're above criticism...oh goodie. Basically this character who looks like he's an orange-tinted rip-off of Sylvester from Looney Tunes is supposed to teach us about how bullying is bad and how he shouldn't bully others. And yeah...I hate this character already, he has such a whiny sounding voice. Ugh...this guy puts Adam Sandler to shame when it comes to annoying voices. Look I like characters with voices that other people think sound annoying and I like comedians like that as well, like for example Gilbert Gottfried. I think Gilbert is really enjoyable to watch, and his podcast in particular is fun to listen to and the guests he has on...woah.
But the difference between Gilbert and Cool Cat is that Cool Cat just makes me want to skin him alive, Cool Cat's voice is so grading on the ears...it's basically what would happen if you strung out Josh Gad's vocal chords. Also what the hell is with Derek self-inserting himself in Cool Cat Saves The Kids as Cool Cat's dad? Cool Cat doesn't even look like him. I've seen the children's book and on the cover of that book it shows Cool Cat's mom and dad, and Cool Cat's father who is also named 'Daddy Derek' is a cat-person. How come Derek as Daddy Derek in the movie isn't a cat? Did the book come out before the movie?
Also is it me or does this seem like a bad SNL skit? A lot of the movie sounds a bit too much like a rejected SNL or MadTV skit that is trying to be educational and hip but really comes as annoying and out of touch. I mean the title character says 'groovy'. I mean who in the current day and age says that? Saying 'groovy' outside of the 60's or 70's just comes across as pathetic and proof that someone's out of touch. Unless of course you're Bruce Campbell or Austin Powers or Earthworm
Jim.
The story is as stereotypical as you can get...you know the drill. This one random girl named Mariah wants to go to Hollywood for some reason, maybe she wants to be an actor. Well, tough look you're going to be in Cool Cat Saves The Kids! And there's this douchebag bully who looks like a blonde version of Chunk from The Goonies and his name is Butch. Woah, what a totally original name for an antagonist. And his oh so terrifying acts of villainy include..bullying people from afar, pulling pranks, and...kicking sand in Cool Cat's face and saying that Mariah is ugly and has 'rat hair'. Oooh, i'm shaking with fright.
Really? Seems like every stereotypical bully to me. And also I get serious creeper/pedo vibes from him and Daddy Derek. I mean both of them are seen hanging around with a young child, no he doesn't rape her or anything but it comes across as being creepy. I know cyberbullying is a thing but it's easily preventable if you ask me. The thing is, you shouldn't take what people say on the internet about you seriously, that's the problem with Derek in general...he doesn't get satire and he doesn't understand how fair use works. Also...yeah, Cool Cat sucks at his job. Also how can the person see in that stupid costume anyway? How can he eat? How is he able to use a laptop computer while in that costume?
Also I doubt that telling someone 'well maybe if you were a much nicer person you would have friends' is going to make things better for you. Yes, vandalism and theft are crimes but I don't think that a mere school bully would be capable of pulling off those things. And yet Cool Cat finds himself unable to sleep at night because Butch said 'I'm a bully and i'm going to get you tomorrow'. And also stealing candy from babies? As if the totally obvious bad guy cliches couldn't get even more cliche. And also so bullying is a crime in this universe? That must be one pathetic crime then. Because I can't see someone saying 'i'm coming after you' to be even remotely worth the police force's team investigating.
You know why? That's called an empty threat, my friend. And at least from my personal experiences, even if they do come after you in real life, it's still just words and we all know words can never hurt you on the same level as actual physical violence. And well...Cool Cat is kind of a narcissist, seriously he has signs and posters of himself and has his own name on his shirt and he even does an activity with Mariah in which he has 'Cool Cat For School President' t shirt. Geee...a big orange idiot who doesn't know how to do his job properly and throws hissy fits whenever people critique him and has a bunch of stuff with his face and name on it? Oh my goodness, this movie totally predicted Donald Trump. Heck, Daddy Derek himself acts a lot like Trump does.
And so after getting Mama Cool Cat's permission they go to Hollywood which is just actually the parade of famous movie cars and they do some stupid stuff there and we see some famous movie vehicles...and a celebrity cameo. Not anyone particular famous, unless you consider Eric Estrada to be a big star. My other major problem with the Cool Cat costumes are well...the creepy smile that seems to be permanently stuck on there. This isn't a problem all mascot type costumes have, but in ones that aren't as well made as the ones you see at Walt Disney World, it can be really jarring and creepy.
The difference is, the Walt Disney World ones have evolved to the point that they can have more than one emotion and they can move their heads. Ones like Barney on the other hand can't move their heads and always seem to have one default expression and that's a smile, I believe Defunctland definitely said it best when describing how bad and terrifying the ones for the Nickelodeon resort looked like. And those googly eyes too. *Shows the SNL skit with Christopher Walken as the googly-eye gardener*
The car parade scene...yeah, I don't see the point in it. It's just Cool Cat and Daddy Derek posing with movie cars that they most likely got from a backlot. Speaking of Trump vibes...can we talk about how Cool Cat loves 'all children'? Yeah...remember what Trump said about his daughter Ivanka? 'If she wasn't my daughter, perhaps i'd be dating her'. Yeah, I think Cool Cat and Daddy Derek himself are both very Trumpish.
*shows a Cool Cat Saves The Kids clip but dubs over Cool Cat's voice himself by doing a Trump impersonation* 'There is a serious bully problem here and when they send their children they're not sending their best, they're sending threats, name-callers and people who kick sand in other people's faces...some I assume are good people and if they were nice, maybe just maybe they'd have friends. I'm going to build a yuuuuge exceptional wall to keep out the bullies and i'm going to build it...inexpensively.'
This movie and pretty much any entry in the Cool Cat 'franchise'...is awful. I understand Derek had acted in a few things before including briefly being an extra in Back To School, but still....if this is what he thinks kids like and what kids are like then Derek Savage simply fails at it, he simply does. Also it's not helping that he pretty much flags and calls out anyone who critiqued his movies. Derek, you're the real bully and so is Cool Cat. Get over it, you asshole. And before he actually does complaining to me calling me a bully and trying to flag this rant or pull off some bullshit like pretending to be a law firm, yes...he seriously did that, i'm going to say that if you want to learn how to handle a bullying situation properly...there are tons of other shows and movies that handle this better. You're better off NOT listening to an overly peppy mascot whose suit would make Scott Cawthon wet himself if he ever saw that thing coming down the street.
Kids, i'm not here to say how you should behave and how you should live your lives, that's your decision alone but all i'm saying is that maybe, maybe...the best response to any sort of bullying or abusive behavior is either to block or report someone or to just forget they exist and live your life as you normally do. And whatever you do, DON'T listen to Cool Cat...EVER!
You know what really irks me and pokes my proverbial horns? Cool Cat and his creator Derek Savage. I know this is technically sort of a dead horse except it isn't, but this idiot seriously thought he could do make a franchise out of this monstrosity. Sounds like Chris Chan and Sonichu to me as well, if not even worse. I'd like to apologize to the creators of Barney the Dinosaur, every present Nick Jr show that isn't something like Paw Patrol, every present Disney Jr show that isn't Doc Mcstuffins, Muppet Babies or the classic Playhouse Disney shows...those no longer are the worst excuses for educational children's show characters, this guy is.
What the fuck is Cool Cat? Well...he's an anthropomorphic cat who is supposed to be an anti-bullying mascot, ironic considering that his creator and 'father' is a bully to people who critiqued his movies. Oh great, ANOTHER Uwe Boll type who thinks they're above criticism...oh goodie. Basically this character who looks like he's an orange-tinted rip-off of Sylvester from Looney Tunes is supposed to teach us about how bullying is bad and how he shouldn't bully others. And yeah...I hate this character already, he has such a whiny sounding voice. Ugh...this guy puts Adam Sandler to shame when it comes to annoying voices. Look I like characters with voices that other people think sound annoying and I like comedians like that as well, like for example Gilbert Gottfried. I think Gilbert is really enjoyable to watch, and his podcast in particular is fun to listen to and the guests he has on...woah.
But the difference between Gilbert and Cool Cat is that Cool Cat just makes me want to skin him alive, Cool Cat's voice is so grading on the ears...it's basically what would happen if you strung out Josh Gad's vocal chords. Also what the hell is with Derek self-inserting himself in Cool Cat Saves The Kids as Cool Cat's dad? Cool Cat doesn't even look like him. I've seen the children's book and on the cover of that book it shows Cool Cat's mom and dad, and Cool Cat's father who is also named 'Daddy Derek' is a cat-person. How come Derek as Daddy Derek in the movie isn't a cat? Did the book come out before the movie?
Also is it me or does this seem like a bad SNL skit? A lot of the movie sounds a bit too much like a rejected SNL or MadTV skit that is trying to be educational and hip but really comes as annoying and out of touch. I mean the title character says 'groovy'. I mean who in the current day and age says that? Saying 'groovy' outside of the 60's or 70's just comes across as pathetic and proof that someone's out of touch. Unless of course you're Bruce Campbell or Austin Powers or Earthworm
Jim.
The story is as stereotypical as you can get...you know the drill. This one random girl named Mariah wants to go to Hollywood for some reason, maybe she wants to be an actor. Well, tough look you're going to be in Cool Cat Saves The Kids! And there's this douchebag bully who looks like a blonde version of Chunk from The Goonies and his name is Butch. Woah, what a totally original name for an antagonist. And his oh so terrifying acts of villainy include..bullying people from afar, pulling pranks, and...kicking sand in Cool Cat's face and saying that Mariah is ugly and has 'rat hair'. Oooh, i'm shaking with fright.
Really? Seems like every stereotypical bully to me. And also I get serious creeper/pedo vibes from him and Daddy Derek. I mean both of them are seen hanging around with a young child, no he doesn't rape her or anything but it comes across as being creepy. I know cyberbullying is a thing but it's easily preventable if you ask me. The thing is, you shouldn't take what people say on the internet about you seriously, that's the problem with Derek in general...he doesn't get satire and he doesn't understand how fair use works. Also...yeah, Cool Cat sucks at his job. Also how can the person see in that stupid costume anyway? How can he eat? How is he able to use a laptop computer while in that costume?
Also I doubt that telling someone 'well maybe if you were a much nicer person you would have friends' is going to make things better for you. Yes, vandalism and theft are crimes but I don't think that a mere school bully would be capable of pulling off those things. And yet Cool Cat finds himself unable to sleep at night because Butch said 'I'm a bully and i'm going to get you tomorrow'. And also stealing candy from babies? As if the totally obvious bad guy cliches couldn't get even more cliche. And also so bullying is a crime in this universe? That must be one pathetic crime then. Because I can't see someone saying 'i'm coming after you' to be even remotely worth the police force's team investigating.
You know why? That's called an empty threat, my friend. And at least from my personal experiences, even if they do come after you in real life, it's still just words and we all know words can never hurt you on the same level as actual physical violence. And well...Cool Cat is kind of a narcissist, seriously he has signs and posters of himself and has his own name on his shirt and he even does an activity with Mariah in which he has 'Cool Cat For School President' t shirt. Geee...a big orange idiot who doesn't know how to do his job properly and throws hissy fits whenever people critique him and has a bunch of stuff with his face and name on it? Oh my goodness, this movie totally predicted Donald Trump. Heck, Daddy Derek himself acts a lot like Trump does.
And so after getting Mama Cool Cat's permission they go to Hollywood which is just actually the parade of famous movie cars and they do some stupid stuff there and we see some famous movie vehicles...and a celebrity cameo. Not anyone particular famous, unless you consider Eric Estrada to be a big star. My other major problem with the Cool Cat costumes are well...the creepy smile that seems to be permanently stuck on there. This isn't a problem all mascot type costumes have, but in ones that aren't as well made as the ones you see at Walt Disney World, it can be really jarring and creepy.
The difference is, the Walt Disney World ones have evolved to the point that they can have more than one emotion and they can move their heads. Ones like Barney on the other hand can't move their heads and always seem to have one default expression and that's a smile, I believe Defunctland definitely said it best when describing how bad and terrifying the ones for the Nickelodeon resort looked like. And those googly eyes too. *Shows the SNL skit with Christopher Walken as the googly-eye gardener*
The car parade scene...yeah, I don't see the point in it. It's just Cool Cat and Daddy Derek posing with movie cars that they most likely got from a backlot. Speaking of Trump vibes...can we talk about how Cool Cat loves 'all children'? Yeah...remember what Trump said about his daughter Ivanka? 'If she wasn't my daughter, perhaps i'd be dating her'. Yeah, I think Cool Cat and Daddy Derek himself are both very Trumpish.
*shows a Cool Cat Saves The Kids clip but dubs over Cool Cat's voice himself by doing a Trump impersonation* 'There is a serious bully problem here and when they send their children they're not sending their best, they're sending threats, name-callers and people who kick sand in other people's faces...some I assume are good people and if they were nice, maybe just maybe they'd have friends. I'm going to build a yuuuuge exceptional wall to keep out the bullies and i'm going to build it...inexpensively.'
This movie and pretty much any entry in the Cool Cat 'franchise'...is awful. I understand Derek had acted in a few things before including briefly being an extra in Back To School, but still....if this is what he thinks kids like and what kids are like then Derek Savage simply fails at it, he simply does. Also it's not helping that he pretty much flags and calls out anyone who critiqued his movies. Derek, you're the real bully and so is Cool Cat. Get over it, you asshole. And before he actually does complaining to me calling me a bully and trying to flag this rant or pull off some bullshit like pretending to be a law firm, yes...he seriously did that, i'm going to say that if you want to learn how to handle a bullying situation properly...there are tons of other shows and movies that handle this better. You're better off NOT listening to an overly peppy mascot whose suit would make Scott Cawthon wet himself if he ever saw that thing coming down the street.
Kids, i'm not here to say how you should behave and how you should live your lives, that's your decision alone but all i'm saying is that maybe, maybe...the best response to any sort of bullying or abusive behavior is either to block or report someone or to just forget they exist and live your life as you normally do. And whatever you do, DON'T listen to Cool Cat...EVER!
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