WB Rants: Confusing.
*we see a male monster who looks and sounds like John Belushi, he is dressed in his own Pokemon trainer attire and has a Snorlax plush on his shoulder*
Werebelushi:
Hello everyone...it's me, your host..with another special request rant courtesy of Mel, before I start I have a question for you all, who likes Pokemon? *everyone in the audience raises their hands* Ha ha, I thought so. Anyway, Mel has told me of this Pokemon character/Rper who confuses her so damn much he gives her headaches. I'm going to be doing this in the style of the Blockbuster Buster. Ladies and gentlemen, Pokemaniacs everywhere...it's time to go bust this bastard. The first problem I have with this character, let's call him Professor Weirdo...is that he is a Pokemon but at the same time he has a human form and a human friend who he sometimes calls his owner and sometimes makes other Pokemon his pets...uhhhh, if he's a human who can turn into a Pokemon doesn't a human owning him technically count as slavery? Because i'm pretty sure a human owning another human counts as slavery. Also...how exactly did he get his Pokemon powers to be exact? It's never explained, all that we know about him is that he can mess with people's heads and transform them into Pokemon for fun...but how on earth did he get those powers? It turns out he has an origin story but it's not one i'm willing to go over. Also wouldn't a Pokemon owning a Pokemon be the Pokemon version slavery? Or would it basically be redundant?
Second problem I have with this character is....sometimes the rules of his universe contradict themselves. Sometimes other Pokemon even legendaries need permission from Professor Weirdo himself in order to turn others completely and sometimes they can just do it whenever they want. So you're telling me that sometimes in order to fully turn someone into a Pokemon other Pokemon need permission but other times they can just do it willy-nilly? I'm sorry but can you stick to just one please. So Professor Weirdo really doesn't make any much sense regarding the rules of his universe.
Also I don't recall Pokemon being able to transform humans into Pokemon in any media at all, yes I am aware that Mystery Dungeon is a thing but that's different. But I haven't seen this sort of thing outside of the manga. I'm sorry but when Ash was morphed into a Pikachu in the anime, that was due to a witch and not by another Pokemon. Also yes I have seen the Detective Pikachu movie. The only case I can recall of someone becoming a Pokemon is in the Pokedex entries for certain ghost types, it's implied with Miltank's Pokedex entry, and also definitely it's in Kadabra's Pokedex entry.
But there is one human who got turned into a Pokemon in the games I am familiar with...do you guys remember Bill? As in the owner of Bill's PC in the original Pokemon games? Yeah, he got turned into a Pokemon due to a lab experiment gone wrong. Yeah, it's not entirely certain which Pokemon he fused himself with that caused his transformation but he did get fused with a Pokemon and got morphed into one. And then there's Lusamine. I am also familiar with Pokemon transformation stories and art and of course Werepokemon stories and Werepokemon OCs that people have created but I don't know what Professor Weirdo qualifies as.
Sometimes when a person who gets turned into a Pokemon in Professor Weirdo's story, they can still speak English but sometimes they can only speak and act like a Pokemon acts in the anime? That's extremely confusing. He does know that there are some Pokemon that can speak English in the anime, right? Lapras can, Team Rocket's Meowth can, Slowking can because he's a genius, and so on. And also he does know that not every Pokemon says their own name right? Because I don't recall Charizard saying his name. When I hear Charizard in the anime, he roars like a dragon. When I hear Ponyta, Rapidash and Mudsdale in the anime they sound like actual horses. I don't think Team Skull's Garbodor in the Sun and Moon anime even says its own name. Yeah, sorry Professor Weirdo but you don't know as much about Pokemon as you think you do. Stick to one set of ruels please, your rules are confusing the fuck out of me. And I think I know someone who agrees with me.
The Collector (from Demon Knight):
I know..who makes up all these rules?
Werebelushi:
The next problem I have with Professor Weirdo is how often he gets taken over by another Pokemon and can easily fix his problems by returning people he has turned back to normal with his powers but instead of doing that he sends them on a wild goose chases. Dude, if I got turned into a Snorlax or even an Abombasnow...I expect YOU to at least be able to morph me back to normal with little to no fuss whatsoever NOT to send me on some crazy wild goose chase to find another Pokemon or to find the items on your shopping list. So let me get this straight...when another Pokemon takes over his form and takes over his show he can easily fix it but chooses not to? Yeah, next time the next Poke-villain of the week decides to take over your body and turn you into them...at least turn yourself back to normal or figure out how to do it.
Professor Weirdo's other problem is that he blatantly tells people his weakness, and that weakness is...that if someone forgets he exists he disappears? What? Was he a ghost the entire time? Is he imaginary? Is he Freddy Krueger? Oh no, better not introduce this guy to Thanos. You could make a drinking game out of the many times he says that he 'doesn't exist'. Also if this is Professor Weirdo's attempt at trying to be meta, that's not how it works...if you are a fictional character who can break the forth and is meta, you don't go ahead and exploit to everyone that you're not real. Yes I too am a fictional character but I interact with the viewers and make it look like everything is real and that I am real, I engage the viewers in conversations.
Also...if you don't exist, how come you just said and how come I am talking to you and talking about you, hmm? Oh I get it...this is some kind of sophisticated reverse psychology technique. And I need to be in tune with myself in order to understand this clever method, ah...got ya. *his eyes turn blue as he meditates* All here we go, Fremen mode. Alright Professor Weirdo, let's talk.
(Werebelushi's Inner Monologue:
I sense that this Professor Weirdo is using the clever tactic of 'I don't exist' to divert the fact that he is in fact a shapeshifting Pokemorph with transformation powers that he can use to easily fix people's problems instead of causing them and he is clearly using it as a means to divert the blame that people put on him onto others. He is using his own reverse psychology technique in order to do so.)
Werebelushi:
Ah...now I understand. However we are far from done here. One question remains unanswered and that question is...what is the different between a regular Pokemon and one that is a transformed person? The only differences that we've gotten so far is that according to Professor Weirdo, a regular Pokemon or a person that is transformed into a full on Pokemon can only only talk and act like they're a Pokemon in the anime and a transformed person who is turned into a Pokemon can speak English still and has their mind. Literally a mind-wipe is the only difference between the two.
Also there always seems to be a new organization that is after him in every episode especially when there is a new region involved, and apparently more than one Arceus? But there is only one Arceus. Arceus is the one and only Arceus, there is no clone of him.
This character isn't particularly horrible or annoying but he is still a perplexing stupefying putrid pile of Poke-puke and he needs to be busted. *a ghostly Zoroark version of Professor Weirdo appears, the ghostly Zoroark attempts to transform him but he uses his proton pack to trap the ghost Zoroark in the ghost trap, the ghost trap seals shut as he is pulled in* Oh yeah, who you gonna call? I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been another special requested rant.
Werebelushi:
Hello everyone...it's me, your host..with another special request rant courtesy of Mel, before I start I have a question for you all, who likes Pokemon? *everyone in the audience raises their hands* Ha ha, I thought so. Anyway, Mel has told me of this Pokemon character/Rper who confuses her so damn much he gives her headaches. I'm going to be doing this in the style of the Blockbuster Buster. Ladies and gentlemen, Pokemaniacs everywhere...it's time to go bust this bastard. The first problem I have with this character, let's call him Professor Weirdo...is that he is a Pokemon but at the same time he has a human form and a human friend who he sometimes calls his owner and sometimes makes other Pokemon his pets...uhhhh, if he's a human who can turn into a Pokemon doesn't a human owning him technically count as slavery? Because i'm pretty sure a human owning another human counts as slavery. Also...how exactly did he get his Pokemon powers to be exact? It's never explained, all that we know about him is that he can mess with people's heads and transform them into Pokemon for fun...but how on earth did he get those powers? It turns out he has an origin story but it's not one i'm willing to go over. Also wouldn't a Pokemon owning a Pokemon be the Pokemon version slavery? Or would it basically be redundant?
Second problem I have with this character is....sometimes the rules of his universe contradict themselves. Sometimes other Pokemon even legendaries need permission from Professor Weirdo himself in order to turn others completely and sometimes they can just do it whenever they want. So you're telling me that sometimes in order to fully turn someone into a Pokemon other Pokemon need permission but other times they can just do it willy-nilly? I'm sorry but can you stick to just one please. So Professor Weirdo really doesn't make any much sense regarding the rules of his universe.
Also I don't recall Pokemon being able to transform humans into Pokemon in any media at all, yes I am aware that Mystery Dungeon is a thing but that's different. But I haven't seen this sort of thing outside of the manga. I'm sorry but when Ash was morphed into a Pikachu in the anime, that was due to a witch and not by another Pokemon. Also yes I have seen the Detective Pikachu movie. The only case I can recall of someone becoming a Pokemon is in the Pokedex entries for certain ghost types, it's implied with Miltank's Pokedex entry, and also definitely it's in Kadabra's Pokedex entry.
But there is one human who got turned into a Pokemon in the games I am familiar with...do you guys remember Bill? As in the owner of Bill's PC in the original Pokemon games? Yeah, he got turned into a Pokemon due to a lab experiment gone wrong. Yeah, it's not entirely certain which Pokemon he fused himself with that caused his transformation but he did get fused with a Pokemon and got morphed into one. And then there's Lusamine. I am also familiar with Pokemon transformation stories and art and of course Werepokemon stories and Werepokemon OCs that people have created but I don't know what Professor Weirdo qualifies as.
Sometimes when a person who gets turned into a Pokemon in Professor Weirdo's story, they can still speak English but sometimes they can only speak and act like a Pokemon acts in the anime? That's extremely confusing. He does know that there are some Pokemon that can speak English in the anime, right? Lapras can, Team Rocket's Meowth can, Slowking can because he's a genius, and so on. And also he does know that not every Pokemon says their own name right? Because I don't recall Charizard saying his name. When I hear Charizard in the anime, he roars like a dragon. When I hear Ponyta, Rapidash and Mudsdale in the anime they sound like actual horses. I don't think Team Skull's Garbodor in the Sun and Moon anime even says its own name. Yeah, sorry Professor Weirdo but you don't know as much about Pokemon as you think you do. Stick to one set of ruels please, your rules are confusing the fuck out of me. And I think I know someone who agrees with me.
The Collector (from Demon Knight):
I know..who makes up all these rules?
Werebelushi:
The next problem I have with Professor Weirdo is how often he gets taken over by another Pokemon and can easily fix his problems by returning people he has turned back to normal with his powers but instead of doing that he sends them on a wild goose chases. Dude, if I got turned into a Snorlax or even an Abombasnow...I expect YOU to at least be able to morph me back to normal with little to no fuss whatsoever NOT to send me on some crazy wild goose chase to find another Pokemon or to find the items on your shopping list. So let me get this straight...when another Pokemon takes over his form and takes over his show he can easily fix it but chooses not to? Yeah, next time the next Poke-villain of the week decides to take over your body and turn you into them...at least turn yourself back to normal or figure out how to do it.
Professor Weirdo's other problem is that he blatantly tells people his weakness, and that weakness is...that if someone forgets he exists he disappears? What? Was he a ghost the entire time? Is he imaginary? Is he Freddy Krueger? Oh no, better not introduce this guy to Thanos. You could make a drinking game out of the many times he says that he 'doesn't exist'. Also if this is Professor Weirdo's attempt at trying to be meta, that's not how it works...if you are a fictional character who can break the forth and is meta, you don't go ahead and exploit to everyone that you're not real. Yes I too am a fictional character but I interact with the viewers and make it look like everything is real and that I am real, I engage the viewers in conversations.
Also...if you don't exist, how come you just said and how come I am talking to you and talking about you, hmm? Oh I get it...this is some kind of sophisticated reverse psychology technique. And I need to be in tune with myself in order to understand this clever method, ah...got ya. *his eyes turn blue as he meditates* All here we go, Fremen mode. Alright Professor Weirdo, let's talk.
(Werebelushi's Inner Monologue:
I sense that this Professor Weirdo is using the clever tactic of 'I don't exist' to divert the fact that he is in fact a shapeshifting Pokemorph with transformation powers that he can use to easily fix people's problems instead of causing them and he is clearly using it as a means to divert the blame that people put on him onto others. He is using his own reverse psychology technique in order to do so.)
Werebelushi:
Ah...now I understand. However we are far from done here. One question remains unanswered and that question is...what is the different between a regular Pokemon and one that is a transformed person? The only differences that we've gotten so far is that according to Professor Weirdo, a regular Pokemon or a person that is transformed into a full on Pokemon can only only talk and act like they're a Pokemon in the anime and a transformed person who is turned into a Pokemon can speak English still and has their mind. Literally a mind-wipe is the only difference between the two.
Also there always seems to be a new organization that is after him in every episode especially when there is a new region involved, and apparently more than one Arceus? But there is only one Arceus. Arceus is the one and only Arceus, there is no clone of him.
This character isn't particularly horrible or annoying but he is still a perplexing stupefying putrid pile of Poke-puke and he needs to be busted. *a ghostly Zoroark version of Professor Weirdo appears, the ghostly Zoroark attempts to transform him but he uses his proton pack to trap the ghost Zoroark in the ghost trap, the ghost trap seals shut as he is pulled in* Oh yeah, who you gonna call? I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been another special requested rant.
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