The Hessian Infestation Adventure

The Hessian Infestation Adventure

NOTE: This is the third ‘Piffy the Monster Slayer’ centric episode/story but also the true debut of Piff as the character due to the other two ‘Piff Parodies A Bad Movie’ and ‘Piffy the Monster Slayer’ getting complained about by a fictional community called ‘The Department of Defending Freakendopes’ who complained about bad portrayals of their species and as such both episodes had to be censored and the original villains from both stories had to be removed (the evil queen character in the latter was swapped out for the Honey Monster and the dum dum were-aykroyds and made a cameo in other recent stories, just reformed, and the latter got scrapped and replaced with Zilla Kid), so this is the real debut of Piffy the Monster Slayer that makes up for those two being censored, enjoy it.

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Corey and Oats went on many adventures together with all their friends including Piff the pufferfish who had become hugely popular due to his Youtube adventures and even had a supporter in the form of Suku who was a fellow pufferfish just like him who loved all of his videos and even made fan comics of him doing all sorts of things.

He made many comics including his ‘Piffy the Monster Slayer’ which was a comic series that was a Buffy homage where Piff was a monster hunter in the Deviantart City universe, one day while Piff was playing games online with his friends he came across the ‘Remake’ of the old Hessian Hex mini-series that not only improved the original but very much made it so Nathan (the character who was cursed to be the Hessian) could talk and keep his personality even as the Hessian, and this was followed him discovering Suku had come up with a comic about him in a scenario inspired by this one titled ‘Hessian Infestation’ and this is what inspired Piff to want to do that adventure.

Gathering all the friends together he activated a combination of keys on the keyboard which opened up a portal in the computer screen which they all jumped through, which took them inside the computer and into the online realm selection area and that is where they chose the Deviantart City realm selection screen,  they jumped through another realm transference portal until they arrived in Deviantart City.

Oats, Corey and the others all walked around town and arrived at the entrance of what appeared to be the festivities building, and they all entered it and discovered they had all been invited to a Sleepy Hollow themed ball and costume contest hosted by Tim Burton himself, there were all sorts of familiar faces including Piff’s Suku who was there dressed in a samurai costume just like the one Piff was wearing.  ‘Suku, I didn’t know Tim invited you.’  ‘Oh I asked him to host the event because I know how much you liked the Hessian Hex mini-series and all.’

Piff had felt bad about what had happened the original version of the debut ‘Piffy the Monster Slayer’ episode and he knew this episode would give him the chance to make up for it, the gang all were dressed up and they tried some of the food at the buffet, but not before meeting several famous faces including Keanu Reeves, Bruce Campbell, Jenna Ortega, Elvira, Christina Ricci, Tim Burton himself,  George Clooney, Tia Carrere, Corey Feldman,  Linnea Quigley, Kelly Osbourne, just to name a few of them.

Mel saw Johnny Depp who was dressed up like Ichabod Crane (the character he played in the movie Sleepy Hollow) and complimented him on his costume, and Corey and Alcina danced together on the dance floor while Piff and Suku mingled with several fish-women who were dressed in gothic outfits.  This was before they had heard James Corden screaming as he came running from one of the rooms, he grabbed the microphone and began to speak up. ‘May I have your attention please?  May I have your attention?’  ‘What’s wrong James?’  ‘This party is cursed, there’s a supernatural curse affecting the mood of this party.’

‘This looks like trouble.’  ‘Right you are, Piff. This looks like we’ve got a monster among us causing trouble.’  Mel hurried off to warn Tim Burton about what was going on. ‘There seems to be a monster ruining the mood of your party.’  ‘You mean like that Hessian Horseman looking guy over there?’  ‘No, that’s not a Hessian cosplayer.’  ‘If it’s not a cosplayer, who is it?’ 

That is when the Hessian-like being turned around, revealing he was a possessed version of Christopher Walken,  Walken had attempted to summon the spirit of the Hessian to get into character only to get possessed and become Hessian-like himself with some vampiric traits, he hissed at Mel for a bit before Piff turned to face him. ‘Chris, are you okay?’ ‘I am, it’s just I feel a bit more bloodthirsty than usual.’  ‘Well don’t go drinking the blood of others.’

‘I wish I could but the Hessian’s spirit is inside me and I can’t help it…’ He added, as he charged towards William Ragsdale and bit him, which caused William Ragsdale to become undead, vampiric and Hessian-like himself as he started gaining a craving for blood, and he bit Florence Pugh,  Florence found herself able to resist the blood thirst for the most part but found herself falling under a different kind of Hessian influence as she found herself developing pale skin, a slightly bustier physique and sharp pointed teeth while also becoming a bit more attractive than normal.  ‘Tim, did you see that? Chris bit William Ragsdale and turned him Hessian-like, and now Florence Pugh is Hessian-like too.’

Tim gathered everyone into the dining hall to work on a plan to keep the infestation from getting worse, as the gang worked together to fight off the influence of the Hessian’s spirit.  Several female celebrities were turned into She-Hessian-esque undead seductresses including Linnea Quigley, Carmen Electra, Lisa Marie Smith,  Jenna Ortega and Sarah Michelle Gellar as the party was infested with the Hessian influence.

Bruce Campbell and Keanu Reeves along with Corey Feldman teamed up to fight off some of the transformed guests, only for Keanu to end up getting Hessianized and to grab George Clooney and bite him but not before Piff saved the latter.  ‘George. George…are you okay?’ ‘Yeah i’m fine, give me a moment or two to recover.’  George Clooney hurried into the bathroom for a little bit to catch his breath, out of all the things he had done in his career he had not expected this to happen to him.

He looked at himself in the mirror and panicked as he saw his skin becoming pale and gaining dark makeup around his eyes, his eyes turning from brown to an icy aquamarine blue color as his trademark silver locks darkened and his hair became messier.  Mel hurried over to go and help him…’George, George…are you alright? I heard you panicking.’  ‘I’ve got this under control, i’ve got this under control.’

Mel jumped in to and keep George from losing his cool as his teeth sharpened and his canines took on the appearance of resembling fangs, he hissed and lunged at her and tried to bite her but not before a violet haired Teen Wolf style werewolf fought him off. The female werewolf was Kelly Osbourne in her werewolf form. ‘Thanks Kelly, that was a close one.’

George started to get a thirst for blood but luckily did not fully turn on the other guests and he and Keanu were about to keep their normal personalities, as Piff and Tangie and all the others worked on a spell to save them and to revert some of the guests back to normal, Piff slayed several Hessianized thralls and cured several of the actresses, turning them back to normal but keep some of them with Hessian traits.

‘This is a much better Piffy the Monster Slayer installment than the one that was the debut, I did enjoy the debut one but this is way better because no one is likely to complain about it.’  ‘And even if people do complain, guys, this happens every day, calm down.’  They used magic to revert some of the other partygoers back to normal as George thanked Mel and the rest of the crew.

Piff then asked…’Are you going to be okay being partially Hessian-like, George? I mean you don’t seem all that bothered by it or anything and i’m sure Tim can help you.’ ‘I am alright, I don’t think i’m going to be asking to be turned back to myself any time soon.’  ‘What about you, Keanu?’  ‘Actually this whole being an undead badass thing just gave me an idea, maybe i’ll for this to be in a future John Wick movie.’  

Mel gasped for a bit as Corey Feldman (who had been Hessianized) turned to face her. ‘Well i’m not considering giving up this undead thing, I mean you guys have seen so much fun I had in Bordello of Blood and Corbin Nash and when I was on Big Wolf On Campus.  I am going to use this to my advantage.’  ‘Well you’re already pretty Burtonesque already just by being yourself, the Hessian look suits you.’

They all had some afternoon tea snacks as Tim Burton thanked the gang for saving the day and for helping him fight off the Hessian’s influence, as Mel performed a spell to help return Christopher Walken to his normal self (while keeping a bit of the Hessian inside him) and Walken hugged her. ‘Thank you for your help, Mel. You guys have really saved us all and saved the party too. Sorry for turning everyone into Hessian-like creatures like me.’  ‘No problem, don’t worry, we forgive you.’

After they had afternoon tea and everyone was mostly returned to normal Tim Burton wrapped up the party with the announcement of the winners of the costume contest and everyone danced together,  when the party was over the gang all thanked him for inviting them and they all had a short time at the Deviantart City’s fanart gallery that Suku had made for Piff featuring his characters.

When it was time to go home they all said goodbye to all the famous faces they had met and helped on their adventures and jumped through an exit portal which took them back to the online realm selection screen area which contained another exit portal, they jumped through the second exit portal which took them through a vortex and took them all out of the computer screen.

Upon jumping back out of the computer screen they all arrived back at their home in Nile Road and gathered in the lounge as Piff got dinner ready for his friends, making all sorts of delicious Japanese dishes for them to eat - which was followed by Mel emailing Jill about their adventure and Piff and Tangie going fishing and catching a lot of fish as they all played games together.

Which was followed by a karaoke session and a game session and when it was time to wind down they all had a relaxation session with Piff and Tangie’s favorite relaxation activities including ASMR sessions, arts and crafts sessions, and ‘Guess the Bathbomb Scent’ before they all got ready for bed.  Corey put on his bat pajamas as Oats put on his pink night-gown and they all drifted off into the bedroom and brushed their teeth.

Piff initiated a special version of his closedown sequence which was in the style of Nightmare Before Christmas, featuring the anthropomorphic pufferfish in Halloweentown depicted as a living pufferfish doll-creature using magic to paint the daytime background to morph it into a night-time background as he sang a song, spinning around and floating into a gothic aquatic themed bedroom.  Upon entering the gothic themed bedroom the pufferfish yawned as his clothing morphed into pajamas as a low fi chill version of ‘This is Halloween’ played and he brushed his teeth as the goodnight message appeared on screen.

Piff himself used some magic to create a supernatural beam of light that transported himself into the bedroom, where he used a magical supernatural cloud to float into the bedroom and kissed Tangie before snuggling up with her and giving the goodnight speech which was: ‘We would like to thank all of the famous people who appeared as themselves in this very special adventure with us, and we’d like to thank Suku for coming up with the one and true actual debut of his Piffy the Monster Slayer comics series on his Deviantart City gallery page.  And more importantly we’d all very much like to thank you guys for coming with us on this adventure, and now it is time to wish you all goodnight, so goodnight to you, love from Piff and all his friends.’

Anglo turned off the lights and they all drifted off to sleep, having sweet dreams as they did so including Piff who dreamed of helping Suku make another Piffy the Monster Slayer comic which came to life, and thus their adventure had ended but more are coming up, so stay tune