A Dum Dum Family Curse

 A Dum Dum Family Curse

A Dum Dum Family Curse

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You have heard all sorts of stories about the town you live, how it is always attracting weirdos, monsters and and all sorts of paranormal activity.  You didn’t exactly have the most positive outlook when you and your family moved to their home in Ottawa and didn’t exactly have the best start with you being treated like an outcast and everyone being secretive and suspicious all the time.  

But eventually you did grow to like it,  you are a male Canadian around 5’10 and your name is Paul, of course you are a good friend of Nathan,  Nathan was the man who taught you all about monsters and transformations that happen to people, you didn’t believe them at first but now you do especially when one day after you come home from work, you see your two parents looking rather seriously at you.  ‘We need to talk.’  ‘Okay, but what about?’  ‘There’s a secret we’ve been hiding from you.’

You are surprised that they bring up the family secret as the very first thing but considering what has just happened prior, with you suddenly getting unusual cravings for food you would not normally eat,  giggling to yourself more than once and a few unusual traits that you have been developing over the past few months, you look over at your parents and feel quite nervous…’You may have been noticing something different about yourself recently.’  ‘Well yeah this is no surprise, it’s a horror scenario after all.  I’ve been getting hungrier and having dreams about a giant marshmallow-like woman.’

Fearing that the secret is that you’re cursed to be a horrible monster and that tonight you’re going to undergo a transformation of the horrific bonecrunching kind that some people might enjoy a bit too much just like in those Twisted Transformation Torture Tales books that you remember seeing,  almost all of those people that buy them like them but you and your friends don’t.   Maybe it’s because painful transformations are overdone or you can’t stand imagining yourself becoming a monster and unable to control yourself,  but you have just never liked those books.   Or maybe because you know it’s the same plot over and over,  poor Ian Hartley being transported into some odd destination while the twisted narrator AI E.M tries to rob him of his humanity in every story.

But what they tell you comes across as a surprise…’You’re not going to turn into a mindless beast, you’re not a werecreature, well at least not your average one.’  ‘Well what IS going to happen to me, then.’  ‘’We’re just going to spoil it for you, you’re a were-aykroyd.’  ‘I think I knew that was what it was leading to.’   ‘As for the eating and stuff,  uhh…you’re a dum dum.’ ‘A dum dum were-aykroyd?’  

Your parents explain that they were from a family of Were-Aykroyds, and sometimes the super-intelligent part of being a were-aykroyd skips generations, and this of course leads to the infamous ‘dum dum’ side of the family,  so while most were-aykroyds are geniuses - some have instances where they are ‘dum dums’.   Normally this is a very rare occasion, and usually a normal were-aykroyd wouldn’t be turning dum dum unless it is a full dum dum moon (and even then,  that is quite rare) but sometimes it happens without warning, your parents have set up dinner and your stomach gurgles and lurches as you eat, for some reason you just feel hungrier and hungrier as you keep eating, your stomach begins to swell and swell as it fattens and grows hair, popping several buttons off of your shirt.  ‘Tee hee thankies for food, mommy.’  You cover your mouth..’Did that dum dum sounding voice really just come out of me?’  

You keep eating more and more as you think about food and how good it is, you think about the marshmallow-like woman in your dreams, how she was seated on a throne in a kitchen filled of snacks and filled with joy and happiness,  you feel oddly happy about it as your chest and torso also swell and fill with fat, hairs growing on them as your arms swell and broaden too, your hands also growing hair as your fingers thicken.

You can’t help but giggle as you keep expanding and swelling, your belly pushes against your belt and pops it right open and you cannot help but rub your stomach,  your legs swell as your rear pushes against your jeans, as a comically funny toot erupts from your behind, but you don’t mind, as your feet enlarge and develop webbed toes, those happy dum dum thoughts come to mind.

Your shoulders and back broaden as you grow to 6’1 as your hair darkens from its natural sandy brown color to a darker shade, your neck feels funny as you grow a double chin as your eyebrows thicken and your eyes widen,  one turning green as your nose broadens and grows a cleft,  you gain Aykroydian features and an Aykroydian voice to match.

Your mind is intact…thank goodness, because some dum dums actually can be just a clever as regular were-aykroyds, when you’re not dreaming of that marshmallow woman of course, but that’s just what the family curse does to you.