Werebelushi rants: SFP
Werebelushi rants:
SFP
Disclaimer:
The forum mentioned in today’s rant is entirely fictional, any resemblance to any real forums is entirely coincidental, as this is a rant by a fictional character and as such the Werebelushi is not real but a fictional character. You might want to get your head-checked if you think this is real.
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(We see a male Werebelushi who looks and sounds like John Belushi, he is sitting at a table of sorts and is dressed like a college professor with his hair slicked back all George Carlin style)
Werebelushi:
Hello everyone and welcome back to another rant with your host That Werebelushi In The Shades. Looks like it’s time for another Trollzie award and this time it’s for Stupid Forum Post.
Ah, internet forums - you either love em or loathe them and want them to die a slow and agonizing death. More often than not it is soooooo difficult to get along with just about anyone on a forum, mainly because most of the users are either insane, trying to troll you, dumb kids trying to be ‘edgy’ or just plain assholes.
Like for example this particular bunch of morons on a forum called Total Assholes Union, and believe me they really DO live up to their name. Of course the first thing they do on this nomination for a post is that they talk about Nathan.
Of course they mention all the revealing personal information about him that was published 4 YEARS AGO! So what? It’s just pointless shit everyone already knows about, NO ONE cares about it anymore!
Next they bring up the whole embarrassing photos thing. Again...that happened 4 YEARS AGO! Let it go. Yes, he somehow allowed himself to be tricked into posting those just so some unscrupulous bastards could hack into his system32 drive...can we please move on?
And now they’re questioning his choice of username? Really? Have they really just sank so low that they’re just resulting to questioning his username? In case you didn’t get it...his old username was Drmusic2 for a REASON, because that was his name on Amiright before his poor misbehavior got him banned (he didn’t know any better).
Really? You think that calling that username ‘uncreative’ is clever? Well, you’re just a big hypocrite because I see that YOU misspelled the were when you tried to spell Werejohncandy.
Every troll that has ever bothered him in the past has made the mistake of calling the werejohncandy...’werewolf John Candy’ when clearly the Werejohncandy HAS a name, the werejohncandy’s name is Chumsley, you morons!
What? Do you think that they’re some kind of Pokemon or something and that they just saw their own name over and over?
The were in werecreature is spelled W-E-R-E NOT W-A-R-E! The latter is used in the word Warehouse which is a place you store things! Yeesh, at least get the right version of the word before spouting your mouth off! And speaking of which...when it’s spelled Werewolf or (insert wereanimal name here) - it’s ALL one word!
And also...you spelled comedians wrong too! There’s a very important rule I think you forgot...now what was it? Oh yes! It’s I before E except after C! How can you forget THAT? Did you fail basic English or something? There is an I in comedian, you know - just as there is an A! And also Werecomedian/werecelebrity should in fact just be ONE word!
Oh and what’s that? You’re questioning his hygiene now by saying he probably stinks because you think he doesn’t know how to use a shower? Well isn’t that just PEACHY! I possibly can’t think of anyone who could have said that first...APART FROM EVERY OTHER FAILTROLL IN EXISTENCE! You know you’re doing a crappy job at trying to get across when all you are doing is spewing out shirt that EVERYONE already knows about Nathan and stealing from other and much better, more competent and more intelligent trolls!
Oh...what’s that? You claim that you think he probably likes the idea of smelling awful like that? I hope you don’t mind if I interject by claiming….BULLSHIT! Dude, Nathan may be slightly uncouth but at least he actually DOES shower and was his own hair.
And he DOESN’T need instructions on how to do it, thank you very much because he can do it himself! But hey...at least I can make fun of you by parodying the way you do these posts:
Step 1: Register on a troll based forum.
Step 2: Post thread about lulcow nobody cares about anymore.
Step 3: Rehash shit everyone already knows about them.
Step 4: Use poor grammar and spelling.
Step 5: Claim that you used to tag-along with the trolls of said lulcow as a means of sucking up.
Step 6: Make constant claims about how you think they’re unattractive or that they’re stupid.
Step 7: Invite others on forum to do that.
Step 8: Make endless unfunny Chris-Chan references/comparisons.
Step 9: Make up all sorts of shit about said lulcow that likely isn’t true.
Step 10:
Repeat the process over and over until someone complains and tells you to stop it because you’re obsessing way too much over someone who is no longer relevant!
Also...you just gotta love how these idiots talk and the words they use - I don’t think i’ve ever heard a person use the term ‘butt-garnment’ to describe underwear before! And wow...where did you get your information from anyway? Some unfunny wikipedia knockoff made for the purpose of trolling? Oh that’s right, you just STOLE your material from trolls who were better at it than YOU!
I’m going to clear this up once and for all that Nathan does NOT wear ‘adult diapers’, as he’s NOT into the whole toddlercon or infantilism thing, in fact remember the rants i’ve done on fetishs? I’ve mentioned countless times that he does NOT like anything like loli, shotacon, infantilism OR diaper fetishism because it is dangerously close to pedophilia especially if the subject is under-age and he was ACCUSED of pedophilia for a brief while in late 2010-2011.
He wears normal pants just like EVERYBODY ELSE and he wears briefs! They’re NOT ‘Granny panties’ and they’re not ‘diapers’, they are NORMAL PANTS and NORMAL UNDERWEAR! Can you please stop stealing material from trolls who did it first and did it BETTER?
Lastly….really? Chris Chan comparisons again? Are you really just rehashing every single thing that people who have trolled him in the past have said? Because that is fucking sad!
As I have already stated...NOT all autistic people are messed up like Chris-Chan is, Nathan is a perfectly sane person in real life and he DOESN’T have any bizzare fetishes, he’s not insane and he’s NOT a man-child!
“I love how he doesn’t explain what a where-bigguy-celebrity-is” - Once again, you’ve gotten the wrong version of were! The version you are using is where which is spelled W-H-E-R-E! As in...where the hell did you learn how to talk like that anyway, Moronville University?
Were as in werecreatures is spelled W-E-R-E! And if you’re going to spell werecreatures, SPELL IT RIGHT! It’s ONE word! ONE little word! ONE ridiculously easy LITTLE WORD! Is it really THAT HARD for you to do?
Also...why on earth do you claim that Nathan doesn’t have nipples? In your world which is the real world - he is a human and humans are Mammalian and everybody knows that if it’s MAMMALIAN, it has NIPPLES! What? Did you spend all your time working on this crappy forum thread? You know you could have ACTUALLY researched this instead of making an ass out of yourself by posting this stupid, ridiculous, unfunny, lame and just plain POINTLESS forum thread!
And of course the Little Andria doll doesn’t have breasts or nipples! It’s a plushie made to look like a CHILD! Breasts do NOT fully develop on the female body until puberty starts when they reach their TEENS!
Yeesh! Can we just move on from this pointless thread already? I’m getting bored and that is NOT a good thing! You know what I LOVE? I love how stupid and unoriginal you are and how you rely on just rehashing shit everyone ALREADY knows about Nathan including screencapping everything he does like a sad, pathetic stalker!
Here’s another thing you should know….those Experience Project posts, those AREN’T by a troll! Those are by Nathan himself and he’s speaking from the heart about his experiences and what he likes and dislikes. If you have a problem with this, then you ARE an asshole!
You and your friends are just so stupid, I cannot believe what I am reading here. I mean is this for real? Am I being punked? Is this some kind of bizzare fever-dream? What the hell am I reading?
This just aggravates me to no end, that someone as stupid and untalented as you - would waste time posting a POINTLESS thread like this to try and tell the others about the former lulcow that is my dear friend Nathan and rehashing EVERY SINGLE THING that EVERY OTHER FAILTROLL IN EXISTENCE HAS SAID ABOUT HIM just for the sake of making CHRIS-CHAN COMPARISONS all the while proving how LAZY, MORONIC, BRAINLESS and UNORIGINAL they are instead of ACTUALLY moving on and doing SOMETHING ELSE with their life!
People like you are the reason that I started this show so that I can give you a taste of your own medicine! Because you, sir/madam are nothing but a low-down, double-crossing, back-stabbbing, larcenous perverted WORM! Supension’s too good for you! Banning’s too good for you! YOU DESERVE TO BE IP BANNED FROM EVERY WEBSITE IN EXISTENCE, THEN ARRESTED IN REAL LIFE AND THEN BE CUT UP INTO ITSY BITSY TINY PIECES AND BURRIEEEED ALIVE!
People like you make so...so...so...so….sooooo….AAAAAAANGRY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I mean I know you’re mostly likely a troll and everything but you’d HURT the feelings of my nice and PERFECTLY HARMLESS best friend Nathan, REAALLY?
WELL..YOU’RE JUST A GREAT BIG….ASSSHOLE! THERE I SAID IT! I MEAN DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN HIM OR SOMETHING? WHAT MAKES YOUU THINK YOU’RE SO SPECIAL? WHAT? THAT THE RULES AND ETIQUETTE OF THE INTERNET AND OF FORUMS IN GENERAL DON’T APPLY TO YOU? *he gets even angrier, as he does his eyes glow an even darker shade of green and his voice gets deeper and more bestial as his clothes slowly start ripping apart* WHY DON’T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!
*He roars ferociously in his deeper and more bestial voice as his clothes rip apart completely and he bulks up gaining a bit more muscle as his fur becomes messier and his claws and fangs sharpen a bit more, he grows to about 6 or 7’ft tall and lets out another loud roar, as he becomes a more savage looking Werebelushi* RAAAWR! Werebelushi mad! Werebelushi SMASH! *He smashes a table into pieces with his inhuman strength, then he spins around, sending a barrage of quills in the direction of several passerbys, impaling them in the process as he grabs a shelf filled with scientific equipment and throws it across the room with inhuman strength before smashing various trophies*
*He roars some more as he makes a large hole in the wall with his brute strength, before picking up a nearby car and hurling it into the sky* RAAAAAWR!
(The Wereleno and Chumsley the Werejohncandy hear the destruction going on and both rush over to investigate:
“Wereleno:
Woah...what in the name of the late Harold Ramis is going on? I heard a ferocious roar and…”
“Chumsley:
I’m afraid it’s happened again, my friend the Werebelushi has gone feral again! He’s turned into his savage form. He must been pushed over the edge.”
“Wereleno:
But how?”
“Chumsley:
A particularly stupid and pointless forum post about Nathan is what probably did it! Only something like that could get him THAT aggravated!”)
Raaaawr! *He roars a few more times before he calms down and returns to normal, returning to his original Werebelushi form with his clothing completely repaired* Oh, i’m sorry about that, it’s just that whenever I see a forum post like that it just really ticks me off. It’s my Berserk Button, you see. When I get angry, I turn into a more savage and animalistic Werebelushi form known as a Savage or ‘Wild’ Werebelushi and start going on a rampage, destroying everything in my path or just destroying what really ticks me off. I don’t normally have to do this but there are times in which unfortunately it does happen, it usually takes a particular stupid series of troll comments/insults or a particularly stupid or pointless forum thread in order to fully do it, that and if said person who did it talks negatively about my friend Nathan or wants to harm him in anyway!
And you don’t want to be around when that happens, because when it does - people usually get hurt or almost killed because my Savage side is a lot less lovable than I normally am. My savage side is also a LOT more violent and in that form, I have no control of my actions and am fuelled by mainly hatred and anger! Although when ii’m in that ‘Savage’ form, i’m not as terrifying as my younger sibling the Werejackblack - who sometimes goes absolutely Axe Crazy when pissed off and by that I mean Jack Nicholson style Axe Crazy with a splash of Gary Busey! Sometimes at his worst he grows to 10 or 20ft tall and acts like a giant monster from an old Japanese movie!
So, whoever you are. Congratulations, you won the award for Stupidest Forum Post and you certainly deserved it, you useless pustule! Here you go, enjoy your new reward!
I’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been my rant on the winner of the Stupidest Forum Post award, now if you excuse me i’m going to calm myself down with some yoga followed by a marathon of Simpsons and MLP.
SFP
Disclaimer:
The forum mentioned in today’s rant is entirely fictional, any resemblance to any real forums is entirely coincidental, as this is a rant by a fictional character and as such the Werebelushi is not real but a fictional character. You might want to get your head-checked if you think this is real.
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(We see a male Werebelushi who looks and sounds like John Belushi, he is sitting at a table of sorts and is dressed like a college professor with his hair slicked back all George Carlin style)
Werebelushi:
Hello everyone and welcome back to another rant with your host That Werebelushi In The Shades. Looks like it’s time for another Trollzie award and this time it’s for Stupid Forum Post.
Ah, internet forums - you either love em or loathe them and want them to die a slow and agonizing death. More often than not it is soooooo difficult to get along with just about anyone on a forum, mainly because most of the users are either insane, trying to troll you, dumb kids trying to be ‘edgy’ or just plain assholes.
Like for example this particular bunch of morons on a forum called Total Assholes Union, and believe me they really DO live up to their name. Of course the first thing they do on this nomination for a post is that they talk about Nathan.
Of course they mention all the revealing personal information about him that was published 4 YEARS AGO! So what? It’s just pointless shit everyone already knows about, NO ONE cares about it anymore!
Next they bring up the whole embarrassing photos thing. Again...that happened 4 YEARS AGO! Let it go. Yes, he somehow allowed himself to be tricked into posting those just so some unscrupulous bastards could hack into his system32 drive...can we please move on?
And now they’re questioning his choice of username? Really? Have they really just sank so low that they’re just resulting to questioning his username? In case you didn’t get it...his old username was Drmusic2 for a REASON, because that was his name on Amiright before his poor misbehavior got him banned (he didn’t know any better).
Really? You think that calling that username ‘uncreative’ is clever? Well, you’re just a big hypocrite because I see that YOU misspelled the were when you tried to spell Werejohncandy.
Every troll that has ever bothered him in the past has made the mistake of calling the werejohncandy...’werewolf John Candy’ when clearly the Werejohncandy HAS a name, the werejohncandy’s name is Chumsley, you morons!
What? Do you think that they’re some kind of Pokemon or something and that they just saw their own name over and over?
The were in werecreature is spelled W-E-R-E NOT W-A-R-E! The latter is used in the word Warehouse which is a place you store things! Yeesh, at least get the right version of the word before spouting your mouth off! And speaking of which...when it’s spelled Werewolf or (insert wereanimal name here) - it’s ALL one word!
And also...you spelled comedians wrong too! There’s a very important rule I think you forgot...now what was it? Oh yes! It’s I before E except after C! How can you forget THAT? Did you fail basic English or something? There is an I in comedian, you know - just as there is an A! And also Werecomedian/werecelebrity should in fact just be ONE word!
Oh and what’s that? You’re questioning his hygiene now by saying he probably stinks because you think he doesn’t know how to use a shower? Well isn’t that just PEACHY! I possibly can’t think of anyone who could have said that first...APART FROM EVERY OTHER FAILTROLL IN EXISTENCE! You know you’re doing a crappy job at trying to get across when all you are doing is spewing out shirt that EVERYONE already knows about Nathan and stealing from other and much better, more competent and more intelligent trolls!
Oh...what’s that? You claim that you think he probably likes the idea of smelling awful like that? I hope you don’t mind if I interject by claiming….BULLSHIT! Dude, Nathan may be slightly uncouth but at least he actually DOES shower and was his own hair.
And he DOESN’T need instructions on how to do it, thank you very much because he can do it himself! But hey...at least I can make fun of you by parodying the way you do these posts:
Step 1: Register on a troll based forum.
Step 2: Post thread about lulcow nobody cares about anymore.
Step 3: Rehash shit everyone already knows about them.
Step 4: Use poor grammar and spelling.
Step 5: Claim that you used to tag-along with the trolls of said lulcow as a means of sucking up.
Step 6: Make constant claims about how you think they’re unattractive or that they’re stupid.
Step 7: Invite others on forum to do that.
Step 8: Make endless unfunny Chris-Chan references/comparisons.
Step 9: Make up all sorts of shit about said lulcow that likely isn’t true.
Step 10:
Repeat the process over and over until someone complains and tells you to stop it because you’re obsessing way too much over someone who is no longer relevant!
Also...you just gotta love how these idiots talk and the words they use - I don’t think i’ve ever heard a person use the term ‘butt-garnment’ to describe underwear before! And wow...where did you get your information from anyway? Some unfunny wikipedia knockoff made for the purpose of trolling? Oh that’s right, you just STOLE your material from trolls who were better at it than YOU!
I’m going to clear this up once and for all that Nathan does NOT wear ‘adult diapers’, as he’s NOT into the whole toddlercon or infantilism thing, in fact remember the rants i’ve done on fetishs? I’ve mentioned countless times that he does NOT like anything like loli, shotacon, infantilism OR diaper fetishism because it is dangerously close to pedophilia especially if the subject is under-age and he was ACCUSED of pedophilia for a brief while in late 2010-2011.
He wears normal pants just like EVERYBODY ELSE and he wears briefs! They’re NOT ‘Granny panties’ and they’re not ‘diapers’, they are NORMAL PANTS and NORMAL UNDERWEAR! Can you please stop stealing material from trolls who did it first and did it BETTER?
Lastly….really? Chris Chan comparisons again? Are you really just rehashing every single thing that people who have trolled him in the past have said? Because that is fucking sad!
As I have already stated...NOT all autistic people are messed up like Chris-Chan is, Nathan is a perfectly sane person in real life and he DOESN’T have any bizzare fetishes, he’s not insane and he’s NOT a man-child!
“I love how he doesn’t explain what a where-bigguy-celebrity-is” - Once again, you’ve gotten the wrong version of were! The version you are using is where which is spelled W-H-E-R-E! As in...where the hell did you learn how to talk like that anyway, Moronville University?
Were as in werecreatures is spelled W-E-R-E! And if you’re going to spell werecreatures, SPELL IT RIGHT! It’s ONE word! ONE little word! ONE ridiculously easy LITTLE WORD! Is it really THAT HARD for you to do?
Also...why on earth do you claim that Nathan doesn’t have nipples? In your world which is the real world - he is a human and humans are Mammalian and everybody knows that if it’s MAMMALIAN, it has NIPPLES! What? Did you spend all your time working on this crappy forum thread? You know you could have ACTUALLY researched this instead of making an ass out of yourself by posting this stupid, ridiculous, unfunny, lame and just plain POINTLESS forum thread!
And of course the Little Andria doll doesn’t have breasts or nipples! It’s a plushie made to look like a CHILD! Breasts do NOT fully develop on the female body until puberty starts when they reach their TEENS!
Yeesh! Can we just move on from this pointless thread already? I’m getting bored and that is NOT a good thing! You know what I LOVE? I love how stupid and unoriginal you are and how you rely on just rehashing shit everyone ALREADY knows about Nathan including screencapping everything he does like a sad, pathetic stalker!
Here’s another thing you should know….those Experience Project posts, those AREN’T by a troll! Those are by Nathan himself and he’s speaking from the heart about his experiences and what he likes and dislikes. If you have a problem with this, then you ARE an asshole!
You and your friends are just so stupid, I cannot believe what I am reading here. I mean is this for real? Am I being punked? Is this some kind of bizzare fever-dream? What the hell am I reading?
This just aggravates me to no end, that someone as stupid and untalented as you - would waste time posting a POINTLESS thread like this to try and tell the others about the former lulcow that is my dear friend Nathan and rehashing EVERY SINGLE THING that EVERY OTHER FAILTROLL IN EXISTENCE HAS SAID ABOUT HIM just for the sake of making CHRIS-CHAN COMPARISONS all the while proving how LAZY, MORONIC, BRAINLESS and UNORIGINAL they are instead of ACTUALLY moving on and doing SOMETHING ELSE with their life!
People like you are the reason that I started this show so that I can give you a taste of your own medicine! Because you, sir/madam are nothing but a low-down, double-crossing, back-stabbbing, larcenous perverted WORM! Supension’s too good for you! Banning’s too good for you! YOU DESERVE TO BE IP BANNED FROM EVERY WEBSITE IN EXISTENCE, THEN ARRESTED IN REAL LIFE AND THEN BE CUT UP INTO ITSY BITSY TINY PIECES AND BURRIEEEED ALIVE!
People like you make so...so...so...so….sooooo….AAAAAAANGRY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I mean I know you’re mostly likely a troll and everything but you’d HURT the feelings of my nice and PERFECTLY HARMLESS best friend Nathan, REAALLY?
WELL..YOU’RE JUST A GREAT BIG….ASSSHOLE! THERE I SAID IT! I MEAN DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN HIM OR SOMETHING? WHAT MAKES YOUU THINK YOU’RE SO SPECIAL? WHAT? THAT THE RULES AND ETIQUETTE OF THE INTERNET AND OF FORUMS IN GENERAL DON’T APPLY TO YOU? *he gets even angrier, as he does his eyes glow an even darker shade of green and his voice gets deeper and more bestial as his clothes slowly start ripping apart* WHY DON’T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!
*He roars ferociously in his deeper and more bestial voice as his clothes rip apart completely and he bulks up gaining a bit more muscle as his fur becomes messier and his claws and fangs sharpen a bit more, he grows to about 6 or 7’ft tall and lets out another loud roar, as he becomes a more savage looking Werebelushi* RAAAWR! Werebelushi mad! Werebelushi SMASH! *He smashes a table into pieces with his inhuman strength, then he spins around, sending a barrage of quills in the direction of several passerbys, impaling them in the process as he grabs a shelf filled with scientific equipment and throws it across the room with inhuman strength before smashing various trophies*
*He roars some more as he makes a large hole in the wall with his brute strength, before picking up a nearby car and hurling it into the sky* RAAAAAWR!
(The Wereleno and Chumsley the Werejohncandy hear the destruction going on and both rush over to investigate:
“Wereleno:
Woah...what in the name of the late Harold Ramis is going on? I heard a ferocious roar and…”
“Chumsley:
I’m afraid it’s happened again, my friend the Werebelushi has gone feral again! He’s turned into his savage form. He must been pushed over the edge.”
“Wereleno:
But how?”
“Chumsley:
A particularly stupid and pointless forum post about Nathan is what probably did it! Only something like that could get him THAT aggravated!”)
Raaaawr! *He roars a few more times before he calms down and returns to normal, returning to his original Werebelushi form with his clothing completely repaired* Oh, i’m sorry about that, it’s just that whenever I see a forum post like that it just really ticks me off. It’s my Berserk Button, you see. When I get angry, I turn into a more savage and animalistic Werebelushi form known as a Savage or ‘Wild’ Werebelushi and start going on a rampage, destroying everything in my path or just destroying what really ticks me off. I don’t normally have to do this but there are times in which unfortunately it does happen, it usually takes a particular stupid series of troll comments/insults or a particularly stupid or pointless forum thread in order to fully do it, that and if said person who did it talks negatively about my friend Nathan or wants to harm him in anyway!
And you don’t want to be around when that happens, because when it does - people usually get hurt or almost killed because my Savage side is a lot less lovable than I normally am. My savage side is also a LOT more violent and in that form, I have no control of my actions and am fuelled by mainly hatred and anger! Although when ii’m in that ‘Savage’ form, i’m not as terrifying as my younger sibling the Werejackblack - who sometimes goes absolutely Axe Crazy when pissed off and by that I mean Jack Nicholson style Axe Crazy with a splash of Gary Busey! Sometimes at his worst he grows to 10 or 20ft tall and acts like a giant monster from an old Japanese movie!
So, whoever you are. Congratulations, you won the award for Stupidest Forum Post and you certainly deserved it, you useless pustule! Here you go, enjoy your new reward!
I’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been my rant on the winner of the Stupidest Forum Post award, now if you excuse me i’m going to calm myself down with some yoga followed by a marathon of Simpsons and MLP.
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