MQ Reviews: Eevee TF TG.

 Mel:

Today i'm going to be reviewing one of those most infamous fics i've ever seen..Eevee tf tg, and I know a few people have already tackled the story but i'm doing to do my own spin on it, so this story begins with a guy named Phil. No, this isn't Phil as in Phil Collins sadly, too bad...because I think some Genesis songs would be good right about now, and no...this Phil isn't a satyr voiced by Danny Devito.  Phil is a male character who I can describe as...uhhh, I don't know,  there's no physical description of this guy.  So I am just going to call him an average looking guy, let's make him...a brunette, there.  Our protagonist is going to the park, as one usually does and he felt thirsty.  And like he didn't need any clothes...okay, there's no indication that this park allows nudity.  So far nothing weird here...except, hang on, did the female Eevee just talk to him?  She did?  Okay, so talking Pokemon isn't too far-fetched an idea if you live where I am where talking Pokes can be seen on an almost regular basis, but still...are there no other humans in the park?

'You can't stand there while you drink that...'  He just got a drink of...something that resembles root beer,  and yet this random Eevee who we have just met tells him he shouldn't be standing around and drinking like that?  Well, the random Eevee does have a point, you must always sit down when you are having a drink but sometimes standing up is alright, and how does he know what root beer looks like?   'come with me to the bathroom'.  Okay, this random Eevee is pink.  Okay shiny variants and regional variants with different patterns I can understand but how on earth did that Eevee get pink fur?  Is she secretly a Sylveon that used an illusion to disguise herself as one?    Immediately our protagonist starts questioning Sam as she's called is pink and why everyone is pink in this park.  Uhhhh..pink is a normal human skin color, well normal if you are Caucasian.  But there aren't any other humans in the park. 

As to why the Eevee is pink, well..maybe it's kind of a weird shiny variant, trust me i've seen weirder shiny variants out there. I saw a polkadotted Pikachu variant once, but it turns out that was just a Pikachu with Girafarig's color scheme.  So the pink Eevee suggests Phil follow her to the bathroom.  Okay, if a talking Pokemon told me to follow it without even getting to know me first i'd be suspicious. Especially if they just randomly popped up out of nowhere to speak to me.  Oh well, at least she's not as bad as those Love-animals that try to force their vicitms to fall in love with them even if said person doesn't love them back. *shudders* That love-wolfess was the worst.  I'm sorry but I don't think the poor woman deserved to be trapped in with those love-wolves, she just wanted to get away from the lovebear that tried to snuggle with her because she was scared of him, she only ended up in the love wolfess's cave because she got lost while trying to find the exit. Did she ask to be licked by the love-bitch's obviously fucked up cubs?  No. She didn't.  That love-wolfess tried to force her to be less 'negative', ick...that's why I HATE love-animals, all that 'don't be negative/negative = bad' crap is hypocritical considering what they are doing is essentially negative in its own way, they are brainwashing others to being more happy joy-joy, oh god...it's like those things were symbiotes created by Raymond Cocteau.  Seriously screw the love-wolfess, Mikala definitely the love-wolf queen clearly is the worst villain i've ever seen in the monster-verse that isn't one of the enemies i've faced.  Yeah it's not her brainwashing everyone, since I know her former self is still in there, but still it's her fault, she imprints this behavior on her cubs and they take after her.  What an awful parent.  And it doesn't help that this villainess has obvious parallels to child-groomers and definitely to Bill Cosby.   

Seriously, the whole scene of her getting her goop on the poor woman gave me Cosby vibes, luckily this Eevee isn't like her so I don't have to worry about her doing such things. Although I have to wonder how this even works.  Okay, so it's a woman's bathroom, as in a female human bathroom?  Phil asks a couple of questions as Sam goes into the bathroom and moments later comes out bleeding out of her reproductive region.  Her answer is 'you'll find out soon'...oh boy, if this turns out that Sam the Eevee is the Pokemon that belonged to a serial killer or sex offender then I definiely say I can't say I'd be surprised, but still.  I don't remember THIS part of my Pokemon  biology class. I don't remember my Pokemon professor explaining about the menstral cycles of female Pokemon.

Phil finds a toilet that is lined with pink Eevee fur. Was that part of Sam's body or was it a faux pelt?  And is told to sit on it, and okay...how does not know that something is up as soon as the drink turns a different color?  Heck i'd think something was off BEFORE i'd even taste the drink, i'd question that Eevee so much.  How did Sam know Phil's name? And also how doesn't Phil notice the bump that is forming into a tail? 'you don't have to worry, you're going to be cute'...ah yes, the most reasuring thing an obviously suspicious character could ever say to someoneone.  And without warning, she comes up to him with a pair of 'gender change sizes' which she uses to snip off his you know...love-making parts.  And Phil screams that he now has a womanly purse instead of his usual set of plumbing.  Okay, so he totally didn't notice that he has a tail growing but it's the private parts altering into you know...a muff muff, that irks him?  Phil must be totally oblivious.  How can he just stand there while having a drink as his tail grows further?

Sam tells him that he shouldn't worry since Phil is going to be just like her, at least not compeltey like her until he finishes the drink off, which he does...but then he realizes he needs to get out and decides it is time to get out.  NOW he decides it's time to get out? Dude, I would have left the bathroom earlier than that, I would have left before Sam the Eevee would ever get a chance to come near me.   So he runs into a mirrored stall as his tail fully forms and well his face begins forming into a small muzzle as his teeth sharpen and he grows pink fur on his body.  Oh...so he's becoming Sam's twin?  I didn't know Sam was THAT kind of Pokemorph.   His ears shifted and his hands and feet shift.  And also apparently there is a toilet for Eeevees.  Excuse me, I don't mean to be a bother but when did we get bathrooms for Pokemon?  I wasn't informed of this and usually when things like this happen, I get informed.  So why didn't I get the memo about the new bathrooms?   Are they at least gender-neutral? Because I don't want my ponyta Oats to feel confused about whether or not he should go in the male Pokemon bathroom or the female one.

Anyway...so after he gains a ruff of fur around his neck, he is now fully transformed into a pink female Eevee and he doesn't seem too upset about it, it seems like...'meh, i've been turned into much worse'.   And well the story ends there, honestly...I prefer Nathan's remake of the story at least he makes fun of flaws that this story i.e the original has.  This story...woah, okay, I so wish I could have rewritten this myself.