Freaked Review
Freaked review
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(Scene: Elijah J.Skugg's Freakfarm)
(We see the freakshow and all the inhabitants including the newest attraction, an attraction known as the "Two-Sided Politician" , we see Nathan as that attraction, he appears to be normal at first but he turns around, his other half as in literal other half is Donald Trump, he looks to be annoyed)
Nathan:
Oh, hi folks. Monstermaster13 here and welcome to another episode of Monstermaster13 reviews...this time I am going to be talking about a movie that i've been planning to review for sometime. But first I bet you're wondering why I look like this. Well...it all started when I arrived at this here freakshow, I just wanted to see some of the attractions and all of a sudden I wind up getting mutated with Zygrot24 and now i'm a Trump and a half. Which is just plain horrible if you ask me.
Donald:
Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?
Nathan:
Ugh...here we go...ladies and gentleman, this is Donald Trump. Your new president and also now my second half...ugh. I have had to put up with his complaints all day and believe me it's hell in a halfshell. It's also thanks to his stupid ideas that we ended up like this...isn't that right?
Donald:
Actually i'm the one that saved us. I did nothing but provide the greatest and most helpful strategies ever and I helped the both of us escape just in time. Because i'm a very responsible and smart person.
Nathan:
Helped? HELPED? You did nothing but complain. You call that happening? And you just wouldn't listen when I told you that it was a bad idea. But you didn't even listen to my advice at all.
Donald:
Your advice was good and all but remember it was my leadership skills that saved us. I have the very best leadership skills, I know so because I've been told I am a great and inspirational leader.
Nathan:
Leadership skills? What leadership skills? If by leadership skils you mean cowering, running, crying, panicking, bargaining and pulling a skedaddle? Then yes, those are what I would call 'leadership' skills. Anyway, we're not here to argue - we're here to talk about the movie we're reviewing this week. That movie of course being the 1993 cult classic Freaked. Now for those not in the know, Freaked is a dark comedy that was released in 1993 and directed by Tom Stern and Alex Winter, it also stars Winter himself in the lead role of vain ex-child star Ricky Coogin. But before we delve into the movie itself, it's time for a history lesson. Originally titled Hideous Mutant Freekz this movie was intended to be a low-budget horror film starring the band known as 'The Butthole Surfers', but it went through several rewrites before becoming the dark comedy it is today. It was originally intended to be a nod to the 1932 film "Freaks" which focused on real sideshow performers with real deformities. Test audiences found the movie to be a bit too weird. Pfft...what they know? Weird is great. I LOVE weird. I mean look at me. I can now officially say i'm part orange.
Donald:
Hey! I heard that remark.
Nathan:
*to Donald* Quiet you! Anyway..the story revolves around the aforementioned character played by Alex Winter, Ricky Coogin is talked into being the spokesperson for a new product called Zyrgot24 but what he doesn't know is that the product is actually a mutagenic serum that was created by E.E.S - which stands for Everything Except Shoes, don't ask. The serum is used by the villain Elijah Skuggs who is played by Randy Quaid, to create attractions for his freak-farm and what an interesting group of characters we have here. We have Nosey - a man who's face is basically taken up by one large nose, Human Flame - a performer with rather fiery flatulence, Frog-man who is basically a guy in scuba gear, Rosie the pinhead, The Worm - a scientist who is a humanoid worm creature, Sockhead (voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait) - who has a sock for a head but can talk and move, Cow-Boy (John Hawkes) who is half-man and half-cow. Don't ask why he has udders even though he's a male, he just does. And of course the Bearded Lady played by Mr T, who steals the show. I heard a little bit of behind the scenes trivia about how he was stressed one time on set and they had to use a double in some scenes.
And then there's their leader - Ortiz the dog-boy, who is played by an unrecognizable Keanu Reeves. *sighs* Woah...such an impressive gallery of circus freaks and yet out of all the things I could have been mutated into I get stuck being half-Trump?
Donald:
Aaaaw, come on. Quit complaining. It's not so bad. I mean, we look great.
Nathan:
Well I do...you don't. You look like an overcooked egg. Since this movie came out in 1993, it's safe for me to say that you'll definitely want to watch this movie due to how unique and weird it is and also...the final scenes and what happens to Elijah after being mutated is definitely something I did not see coming. I was expecting him to come out all gross and deformed but he comes out...as a talk-show host played by Brooke Shields. Well, at least his/her feet are monstrous looking.
If you haven't watched this movie, do so - especially if you are into movies like Nightbreed and UHF, which you could say is what it is in someway, basically Island Of Doctor Moreau mixed with UHF and Nightbreed. I like how each of the freaks has a flashback explaining their origin - even the wrench has one. And yet they still have it better than me. *sigh*
Donald:
What do you mean by that exactly?
Nathan:
I mean how is it Ricky gets to be Hideous Beast Boy and i'm stuck with Trumpty Dumpty as my second half? That is just not fair if you ask me. No matter, i'm sure if you like us - are into weird and entertaining movies - that you'll definitely enjoy the ever-loving heck out this movie. Freaked is one movie I highly recommend. This is one cult classic that I think everyone should check out.
I give it 10 out of 10, 100 out of 100 and two monstrous clawed thumbs up. If you're looking for something out of the ordinary than you can not go wrong with this movie, although those who have a problem with gross imagery may not want to be around when you are watching it though. But if you are into dark comedies and also enjoy movies like Nightbreed, then check this movie out - it is definitely worth-watching. Also...too weird? Pfft. What do those dumb test audiences know anyway? I say this movie is worth-watching and worth your time.
If you haven't seen this movie already, go and watch it on Youtube. You will NOT be disappointed at all and you will adore this movie. So go and discover this cult-classic for yourself right away. I'm Monstermaster13 and until next time folks, see all of you next time.
Donald:
What? It's ending? But I wanted to give a speech.
Nathan:
Tough toenails, Trumpty. Until next time, this is Monstermaster13 signing off, stay tuned for more episodes and reviews this week. Remember, monsters are your friends so next time you see a monster - please don't be scared, they only want to hang out with you and be your best friend.
--------------------------------
(Scene: Elijah J.Skugg's Freakfarm)
(We see the freakshow and all the inhabitants including the newest attraction, an attraction known as the "Two-Sided Politician" , we see Nathan as that attraction, he appears to be normal at first but he turns around, his other half as in literal other half is Donald Trump, he looks to be annoyed)
Nathan:
Oh, hi folks. Monstermaster13 here and welcome to another episode of Monstermaster13 reviews...this time I am going to be talking about a movie that i've been planning to review for sometime. But first I bet you're wondering why I look like this. Well...it all started when I arrived at this here freakshow, I just wanted to see some of the attractions and all of a sudden I wind up getting mutated with Zygrot24 and now i'm a Trump and a half. Which is just plain horrible if you ask me.
Donald:
Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?
Nathan:
Ugh...here we go...ladies and gentleman, this is Donald Trump. Your new president and also now my second half...ugh. I have had to put up with his complaints all day and believe me it's hell in a halfshell. It's also thanks to his stupid ideas that we ended up like this...isn't that right?
Donald:
Actually i'm the one that saved us. I did nothing but provide the greatest and most helpful strategies ever and I helped the both of us escape just in time. Because i'm a very responsible and smart person.
Nathan:
Helped? HELPED? You did nothing but complain. You call that happening? And you just wouldn't listen when I told you that it was a bad idea. But you didn't even listen to my advice at all.
Donald:
Your advice was good and all but remember it was my leadership skills that saved us. I have the very best leadership skills, I know so because I've been told I am a great and inspirational leader.
Nathan:
Leadership skills? What leadership skills? If by leadership skils you mean cowering, running, crying, panicking, bargaining and pulling a skedaddle? Then yes, those are what I would call 'leadership' skills. Anyway, we're not here to argue - we're here to talk about the movie we're reviewing this week. That movie of course being the 1993 cult classic Freaked. Now for those not in the know, Freaked is a dark comedy that was released in 1993 and directed by Tom Stern and Alex Winter, it also stars Winter himself in the lead role of vain ex-child star Ricky Coogin. But before we delve into the movie itself, it's time for a history lesson. Originally titled Hideous Mutant Freekz this movie was intended to be a low-budget horror film starring the band known as 'The Butthole Surfers', but it went through several rewrites before becoming the dark comedy it is today. It was originally intended to be a nod to the 1932 film "Freaks" which focused on real sideshow performers with real deformities. Test audiences found the movie to be a bit too weird. Pfft...what they know? Weird is great. I LOVE weird. I mean look at me. I can now officially say i'm part orange.
Donald:
Hey! I heard that remark.
Nathan:
*to Donald* Quiet you! Anyway..the story revolves around the aforementioned character played by Alex Winter, Ricky Coogin is talked into being the spokesperson for a new product called Zyrgot24 but what he doesn't know is that the product is actually a mutagenic serum that was created by E.E.S - which stands for Everything Except Shoes, don't ask. The serum is used by the villain Elijah Skuggs who is played by Randy Quaid, to create attractions for his freak-farm and what an interesting group of characters we have here. We have Nosey - a man who's face is basically taken up by one large nose, Human Flame - a performer with rather fiery flatulence, Frog-man who is basically a guy in scuba gear, Rosie the pinhead, The Worm - a scientist who is a humanoid worm creature, Sockhead (voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait) - who has a sock for a head but can talk and move, Cow-Boy (John Hawkes) who is half-man and half-cow. Don't ask why he has udders even though he's a male, he just does. And of course the Bearded Lady played by Mr T, who steals the show. I heard a little bit of behind the scenes trivia about how he was stressed one time on set and they had to use a double in some scenes.
And then there's their leader - Ortiz the dog-boy, who is played by an unrecognizable Keanu Reeves. *sighs* Woah...such an impressive gallery of circus freaks and yet out of all the things I could have been mutated into I get stuck being half-Trump?
Donald:
Aaaaw, come on. Quit complaining. It's not so bad. I mean, we look great.
Nathan:
Well I do...you don't. You look like an overcooked egg. Since this movie came out in 1993, it's safe for me to say that you'll definitely want to watch this movie due to how unique and weird it is and also...the final scenes and what happens to Elijah after being mutated is definitely something I did not see coming. I was expecting him to come out all gross and deformed but he comes out...as a talk-show host played by Brooke Shields. Well, at least his/her feet are monstrous looking.
If you haven't watched this movie, do so - especially if you are into movies like Nightbreed and UHF, which you could say is what it is in someway, basically Island Of Doctor Moreau mixed with UHF and Nightbreed. I like how each of the freaks has a flashback explaining their origin - even the wrench has one. And yet they still have it better than me. *sigh*
Donald:
What do you mean by that exactly?
Nathan:
I mean how is it Ricky gets to be Hideous Beast Boy and i'm stuck with Trumpty Dumpty as my second half? That is just not fair if you ask me. No matter, i'm sure if you like us - are into weird and entertaining movies - that you'll definitely enjoy the ever-loving heck out this movie. Freaked is one movie I highly recommend. This is one cult classic that I think everyone should check out.
I give it 10 out of 10, 100 out of 100 and two monstrous clawed thumbs up. If you're looking for something out of the ordinary than you can not go wrong with this movie, although those who have a problem with gross imagery may not want to be around when you are watching it though. But if you are into dark comedies and also enjoy movies like Nightbreed, then check this movie out - it is definitely worth-watching. Also...too weird? Pfft. What do those dumb test audiences know anyway? I say this movie is worth-watching and worth your time.
If you haven't seen this movie already, go and watch it on Youtube. You will NOT be disappointed at all and you will adore this movie. So go and discover this cult-classic for yourself right away. I'm Monstermaster13 and until next time folks, see all of you next time.
Donald:
What? It's ending? But I wanted to give a speech.
Nathan:
Tough toenails, Trumpty. Until next time, this is Monstermaster13 signing off, stay tuned for more episodes and reviews this week. Remember, monsters are your friends so next time you see a monster - please don't be scared, they only want to hang out with you and be your best friend.
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