Don't Mess With Were-Celebs.

Don't Mess With Were-Celebs.
Were-Stallone TF.

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In the strange and very unusual world we live in,  we often find ourselves encountering monsters whether they be an actual monster or a metaphorical one, and sometimes those monsters aren't just the ones we see in the movies...sometimes they are real.  The city of Oakendale is home to many kinds of creatures of the supernatural variety including mummies,  Chuds, Deadites, fish-people,  cat-people,  koala-folk (anthro koala creatures), demons,  vampires, mythical beasts, equine-folk (anthro equines) and werecreatures and ghosts.  But the most intriguing ones are the were-celebs. A wereceleb is a type of werecreature who transforms into a celebrity either at night or whenever they choose to and our hero Nathan Forester was one of those,  well technically he never was referred to as a were-celeb  he just had the powers of one and the rules were often very complicated.

Sometimes he would have to wait until night-fall to morph and sometimes he'd morph when he got under emotional stress,  and sometimes whenever it got dark in general or sometimes when he was scared.  And sometimes it has the result of a monster attack or via possession,  he couldn't exactly recall what the rules were when it came to were-celeb powers and such since they often varied.  But he did know that you should never mess with someone who happens to be one,  yet alone do anything as stupid as mock one online or face to face.  'Never mock or a mess with a wereceleb, that's what they say....'  are the words of wisdom that Nathan passed onto others.

Maybe that is the lesson that one particular internet troll wannabe should have paid close attention to,  he was a foul-mouthed, corrupt individual by the name of LordZarigon43 (real name: Alan Connerson) with an appearance that looked like he was half yeti due to his scraggly hair and visage that would make any normal person want to throw up.  He was a condescending,  moronic excuse of a troll who pretty much hated Nathan for no reason apart from that he supported were-celebs,  then again...he always had a disliking for were-celeb cultures, so much so that he stooped so low as to mock said were-celebs in grotesque photomanips and fake Twitter accounts.  These photomanips were basically just shoving the celebs head on the body of an overweight women,  for some reason which was never explained.  His photomanips usually did get removed though,  but he went a little too far when he did a set of them of Nathan's Sly Stallone form from one of the previous installments of his show,  rather lewd and disgusting ones at that.

Nathan caught wind of these and decided once and for all it was time to teach Alan a lesson, so he texted him and asked to meet him at the central park area,  to which he obliged and he waited.  A few hours later Alan arrived, looking as cocky as ever...he was ever so sure that he would make a fool out of his enemy.  'Fancy seeing you here,  Mr Were-Stallone.'  'Likewise...Mr Fat Fetishist.  Seriously, what's with you and those photomanips?  Why do you keep using overweight women as your model?'.  'Why do YOU keep turning into celebs?' 'I have were-celeb powers, okay? I thought you'd know that by now'.   'Those powers are real?  Yeah right,  you're trying to troll me.'  'Oh no, i'm not, were-celebs and monsters in general are very real,  this isn't one of your dumb Daloli-verse schemes.' 

Alan took offense at his schemes and photomanips being referred to as 'dumb',  so he pouted and tried to make himself look like he didn't care, but clearly he did...he was known for being egotistical and prideful,  often viewing his own works as masterpieces even though they clearly weren't. 'Dumb? Dumb?  This coming from the person who once turned into a monster version of John Candy?'  'That wasn't even from this season,  that was from the very first season when I was trying way too hard to be anything but myself.  I hate how I acted in that season.'

"But you still act like that...you're still.."

"I'm still what?  The crazy were-celeb guy who the Daloli-verse pretty much made their punching bag?  Oh no...that wasn't me,  and it has nothing to do with the events of this universe.  And I know that you may think that I am a critique fearing coward but really...at least I know there is a difference between critiquing and bitching about something you don't like for no reason."

"But...."

"You may not know this but guess what?  Even though I am a monster,  i'm still a human being on the inside and right now my feelings have been hurt,  by YOU.  It is people like you and them that sicken me.  Nothing better to do than to stalk me like vultures and pick on were-celebs for no good reason.  You know why I don't associate with those freaks?I'll tell you why, they called me insane and said I had a lack of self awareness.  I've been self aware since season 4 started and I haven't looked back since."

"What?  You mean that Daloli-verse saga wasn't canon?"

"Of course it wasn't canon, nothing to do with the Daloli-verse is canon. Especially since almost all of the citizens/members of that universe got defeated ages ago with the only few surviving members being turned into ghouls in the cyber graveyard."

"I'm surprised...I was expecting that two headed demon thing with a lizard-like tail to pop up."

"You mean the one that the Daloli-verse made up to discredit me?  That one wasn't canon either.  It was just based on an out of character joke I made about how rumors are often spread.  I didn't say I was that creature, those people just took the entirety out of context."

"How? But that doesn't mean anything, I can still think of more examples."

It was clear that Alan was still intent on trying to make a fool out of Nathan,  but what he didn't count on was that the shapeshifting scientist with were-celeb powers had set this whole thing up.  'Ah ha...I knew you were going to try and pull out some more examples from non-canon episodes to try and make me look like an idiot.'  'But how on earth did you do that? Is it one of your freaky were-celeb powers?'  'Actually no...i'm just really good at predicting what my enemies are thinking and what they're going to say next'.  He looked over at Alan with his signature icy glare, this was a glare he often gave to his enemies before either slaying them or draining them of their blood...after all,  he was half vampire and he did need to get his blood supply from somewhere (but that was usually when he didn't have any more of his favorite blood energy drink left, luckily though there were always places that sold those). 

He glared at Alan before adjusting his glasses and glancing over with a stern expression.  'Listen Alan..this has been fun and everything but i've come here to ask you to stop.  All of this nonsense must stop.  Mocking a wereceleb is terrible and you will pay the price for it.'  'And who is going to stop me? YOU?'.   Alan cockily cackled to himself,  thinking this was all one of Nathan's elaborate tricks. 'Why yes, precisely.'  'And just how you are going to do that,  with some special fx show?'  'I don't need special fx to teach people like you a lesson'. 

Nathan was indeed right,  he didn't need any freaky special effects or mirrors or illusions to teach wrongdoers a lesson, he was a skilled hunter and slayer and he knew how to handle particularly bothersome enemies. Alan gulped,  a cold chill ran down his spine as if he could feel his own confidence withering away with fear...as if he knew that at this point, he was screwed.  'Oh dear...did I mean to insult you like that? I didn't...i'm sorry.'  'It's too late for that, I think it's time I showed you the real deal.'   The full moon peered out from behind the clouds as his eyes gave off a supernatural glow before he felt a surge of adrenaline jolting through his entire body.

Those weren't the only things altering though,  his shirt slowly began to tighten as his chest and torso slowly expanded with musculature,  the buttons on it slowly popping one by one as his arms also expanded with musculature,  his hands enlarging...his biceps becoming quite muscular and rather impressive.  In the process the shirt slowly started giving away with a ripping sound,  exposing his more muscular upperbody as a more rugged skintone manifested on it and on the rest of his body.  Alan had seen this type of thing described in Nathan's works and stories but never up close before and it was horrifying but also fascinating,  this wasn't some kind of scene from an episode of his show.

His legs lengthened and gained musculature as his feet slowly changed size to match his hands,  his ripped shirt slowly contorting itself into a black vest and jacket with the same spider web insignia he normally had on the sleeves. His back slowly contorted and broadened as he slowly elevated in height to 5'10 as his shoulders followed suit,  he now weighed around 185lbs of musculature as his neckline lengthened.  His hair slowly darkened, turning a darker shade of brown before turning jet black,  lengthening and become a bit mussed up.  'Woah...how are you doing that?' 'Oh this? I've been able to do this for years.' 'You have? But they told me it was just part of the show.'  'Well they lied to you, it's you.'  Alan gasped as he witnessed this,  the fact he wasn't expecting this to be real was more than shocking to him, he had always been told 'it's all part of the show' but he was never told about Nathan's transformations as a whole as he always thought it wasn't real.

Nathan gave his signature icy glare in his direction as his eyebrows thickened and arched, his eyes widening and one of them drooping a little,  his eyes in general darkening and his browline altering,  his nose slowly contorted and become more aquiline in shape while his cheekbones sharpened and his jawline broadened, developing a more heroic shape to it as his chin slightly jutted out.  His lips altered a little as his lower-lip became crooked, contorting his expression into what could basically be described as a perennial snarl,  his features slowly morphing and reshaping themselves,  Alan recognized the facial features his enemy was sporting,  those features were turning into those of Sylvester Stallone, and that's when it hit him.  That one episode in which he turned into Ray Tango from Tango and Cash...that was actually real, and that he actually DID transform into that character.

He felt his face with his hands,  he didn't need a mirror or a reflection to see that he looked like he could be the perfect physical double of Sylvester Stallone...in fact,  he definitely knew that he could pass for the real deal. He chuckled several times, as he did...his voice deepened and contorted, altering and warping to match his appearance. 'If I didn't know any better,  i'd say you...'  'Sound like Stallone? Well yes, actually I do.'  'But how?'  'Now if I told you all of my tricks of the trade I would be giving away secrets to an untrustworthy person.' 

A few seconds later and his transformation was completed, Nathan was now a spot on duplicate of Stallone, right down to having his voice as his mind changed slightly but he remained the same in terms of his personality. 'This is what you look like as a Were-Stallone? But...i...i...' 'You what?' 'I thought this wasn't real...I thought this was a joke and you were trolling me back.'  'If there is one thing you need to know,  it's that a supernatural being never kids around when it comes to their powers.'

"This wasn't what I was expecting.."

"What? Were you expecting an overweight women's body with my head on top of it like in the pictures or something?"

"Wait...you remember those? But I...I...."

"Oh yes, did you think I forgot those mocking pictures you did of me as a Were-Stallone with Stallone's head on a fat fetish model's body? I never did. In fact now that i'm fully part of were-celeb culture,  that's pretty much racial insensitivity you have done."

"I'm sorry. It was just for lulz."

"I wasn't laughing, the only people laughing were you and your friends."

"I'm sorry."

"You should have apologized before you did those awful pictures."

"I know, I know...please forgive me?"

"It's too late now, don't you know you don't mess with my kind like that?"

"I thought....I thought.."

"You thought what? That this was some kind of stupid fake fursona schtick or something? This is 100% real. The woman you took advantage of on the other hand wasn't.  That poor woman, was never real..she wasn't even a canon character because she had nothing to do with this."

"I'm sorry...i'm sorry.."

"Too late now,  it's time to teach you your lesson."

Nathan/Sly grabbed him by the neck and tossed him around a few times with inhuman strength before dropping him on the ground. 'I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time you pull shit like this on me or any other were-celeb out there, you are going to regret it.  And I mean it. So heed my warning and don't do it again'.  He then morphed back to normal and teleported himself back home to his apartment. 'Phew, that jerk has been dealt with. I doubt he'll be making a return anytime soon.'  A few hours later Alan was arrested and put on trial for his crimes,  he was found guilty and all of his accounts were removed from DA-Verse history.

The lesson of this story is,  don't mess with a real were-celeb by mocking them in picture form or by pretending to be one online for lulz...you might never know when a real one might show up.