Misery review
Warning:
This review also contains a couple of skits mimicking scenes from the movie in question and features a certain unlikable celebrity being tortured...do not read this if you are easily offended or if you're a fan of this person.
---------------------------------------------
Nathan:
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Monstermaster13 reviews...today I will be going into the realm of none other than Stephen King. As you know, i'm a huge horror buff and one of my heroes is none than Stephen King. So today I am going to be tackling one of King's most infamous works. I'm talking about one where the villain or monster is someone you least suspect it to be. That is of course the subject of today's episode...Misery. The movie adaptation based on the book of the same name.
Misery is one of three or four movies that deals with the subject of an overly obsessive fan or stalker, the ones including The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Single White Female, The Cable Guy and Cape Fear (both the original and the remake) . Because everyone knows this classic and has seen it already I will not be explaining the plot to you, but I shall give you reasons as to why you should see it.
The reason why you should see this movie is because it's one that is very relatable, we all know of fandoms that tend to get particularly clingy, psychotic or obsessive and we all know that one particular fandom member that goes way too far with their obsession. And that's our antagonist comes in...Annie Wilkes, Paul Sheldon's number one fan played by Oscar-winning actress Kathy Bates. In every fanbase there is an Annie Wilkes (The Twilight , Justin Beiber, Disney Channel star and the Russell Brand fanbase are all made out of 50% nutcases with only a few sane people in them). Annie may seem sweet and innocent but beware of that Wolf In Sheep's Clothing trope my friend. As Paul Sheldon (James Caan) finds out, she's - in the words of a certain former Spice Girl...not such an innocent girl.
You see - Annie loves her Misery books so much, not only did she name her pig after the titular character but also she didn't take too kindly to Paul killing off her favorite character, I can relate to that to some degree. *snarls* Let's just say I had an Annie Wilkes moment when they killed off Jack Black's character in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, I know that his character was a dumb stoner wannabe but it's Jack Black...you don't just have the front man of Tenacious D in your movie only to have him die! That isn't fair!
I'm sorry about that...it's just when I get worked up I tend to well get possessed in some way by Annie, that's what happens when the Stephen King universe gets crossed over with the Monster World after all. Although I can't say I blame her really. I would have done the exact same thing with someone famous that I love or hate too.
(we see the scene from the movie with Nathan in the form of Annie and Russell Brand in place of Paul Sheldon)
Nathan/Annie:
No, no, no Russell - this is all wrong. You can't just say we need a revolution in your book without even explaining what kind of revolution it is. It's just stupid and it's cheating. I want you to destroy this book of yours and then rewrite it!
Russell Brand:
But it's not supposed to be a real revolution. Oh, and can you get me some more paper? This paper smudges when I try to print something out. *he rubs his finger on the page, it smudges the font*
Nathan/Annie:
What do you know, it does.
Russell Brand:
Could you get some more paper?
Nathan/Annie:
Sure...I can do that. Is there anything else you'd like me to get you? Like a tape recorder or a handmade pair of writing slippers? How about I buy the whole entire store for you?
Russell Brand:
What's the matter, mate?
Nathan/Annie:
What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S THE MATTER! I GO OUT OF MY WAY FOR YOU. I DO EVERYTHING TO TRY AND MAKE YOU HAPPY. I FEED YOU, I I CLEAN YOU, I DRESS YOU AND WHAT THANKS DO I GET? "Oh you've got the wrong paper, Nathan" "I can't write about my revolution on this paper, Nathan". WELL I'LL GET YOU YOUR STUPID PAPER BUT YOU BETTER START SHOWING ME A BIT MORE APPRECIATION AROUND HERE, MR BRAND! *hits Russell in the knee with a stack of papers*
Russell Brand:
OOWWWWW! *screams in pain*
(We then cut back to Nathan)
Nathan:
See? I'd totally do that too. Of course i'd also like to recreate a certain other scene as well and that scene is the one and only infamous scene where she breaks Paul's legs so he can't escape. Owwww... I can still feel the pain from that scene in a telepathic sense. And i'm pretty sure a lot of people can too.
And to this day this entire movie and this scene is forever ingrained into our minds, and most of us are already pretty scarred for life already. So hats off to Rob Reiner for bringing this chilling Stephen King novel to life and especially hats off to my fierce lady Kathy Bates for making Annie one of the most famous movie villains in history.
(Skit: Hobbling scene parody)
Nathan/Annie:
Russell..you've been out of the room again haven't you?
Russell Brand:
Uh...no, I haven't.
Nathan/Annie:
Russell, my little plush koala in my computer room always faces due south.
Russell Brand:
Plush koala?
Nathan/Annie:
*holding Russell's keys* I know you've been out twice, Russell. At first I couldn't figure out how you did it but last night I found your keys, I know I left my scrapbook out there, and I can I imagine what you must be thinking of me. But you see Rusty, it's all okay, I realize that you just need more time. Eventually you'll come to accept the idea of being here. Say...do you know about the early days of the Kimberly diamond mines? Do you know what they did to the native workers that stole diamonds?
Russell Brand:
They killed them?
Nathan/Annie:
Don't worry, they didn't kill them - that would be like junking a Mercedes just because it has a broken spring. No they had to make sure they could keep on working, but also they had to make sure that they couldn't run away. The operation was called hobbling. *gets out a sledgehammer*
Russell Brand:
Whatever you're thinking about doing, please don't do it. For god's sake, please don't.
Nathan/Annie:
Shh, Russell.
Russell Brand;
No, please!
Nathan/Annie:
Trust me, it's for the best. *swings the sledgehammer at him and breaks his right foot - breaking it in the process*
Russell Brand:
*squirms* OWWWW!
Nathan/Annie:
Almost done...just one more. *aims it at his left foot and slams the sledgehammer on it, breaking his left foot in the process*
Russell Brand:
Owwww!
(the skit ends)
Nathan:
This movie definitely holds up and you should definitely watch it if you haven't seen it already, if you haven't seen it...then where have you been living for the past 600 years? In another dimension or something? This movie is non-stop chills, spills, thrills and it's timeless and essentially viewing for anyone who is a fan of Stephen King or horror in general, you should definitely check it out.
Stephen King liked it so much that he cast Kathy in the lead role in Dolores Claiborne and also changed the gender of the character Ray Flowers in The Stand to female so that he could have her play the part. And he's not the only one who likes her, I too am a part of the Kathy Bates fan-family.
I give this movie 100 out of 100 and two slightly bent monstrous clawed thumbs up and a high recommendation, of course it is not for the squeamish so unless you're a really tough little monster like I am...then you'll probably need to turn away. I'm Monstermaster13 and this has been my review of Misery, stay tuned for more reviews this month including some new installments of the Walken-A-Thon with everyone's favorite cowbell crazed bloodsucker Chris the alpha Walken.
This review also contains a couple of skits mimicking scenes from the movie in question and features a certain unlikable celebrity being tortured...do not read this if you are easily offended or if you're a fan of this person.
---------------------------------------------
Nathan:
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Monstermaster13 reviews...today I will be going into the realm of none other than Stephen King. As you know, i'm a huge horror buff and one of my heroes is none than Stephen King. So today I am going to be tackling one of King's most infamous works. I'm talking about one where the villain or monster is someone you least suspect it to be. That is of course the subject of today's episode...Misery. The movie adaptation based on the book of the same name.
Misery is one of three or four movies that deals with the subject of an overly obsessive fan or stalker, the ones including The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Single White Female, The Cable Guy and Cape Fear (both the original and the remake) . Because everyone knows this classic and has seen it already I will not be explaining the plot to you, but I shall give you reasons as to why you should see it.
The reason why you should see this movie is because it's one that is very relatable, we all know of fandoms that tend to get particularly clingy, psychotic or obsessive and we all know that one particular fandom member that goes way too far with their obsession. And that's our antagonist comes in...Annie Wilkes, Paul Sheldon's number one fan played by Oscar-winning actress Kathy Bates. In every fanbase there is an Annie Wilkes (The Twilight , Justin Beiber, Disney Channel star and the Russell Brand fanbase are all made out of 50% nutcases with only a few sane people in them). Annie may seem sweet and innocent but beware of that Wolf In Sheep's Clothing trope my friend. As Paul Sheldon (James Caan) finds out, she's - in the words of a certain former Spice Girl...not such an innocent girl.
You see - Annie loves her Misery books so much, not only did she name her pig after the titular character but also she didn't take too kindly to Paul killing off her favorite character, I can relate to that to some degree. *snarls* Let's just say I had an Annie Wilkes moment when they killed off Jack Black's character in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, I know that his character was a dumb stoner wannabe but it's Jack Black...you don't just have the front man of Tenacious D in your movie only to have him die! That isn't fair!
I'm sorry about that...it's just when I get worked up I tend to well get possessed in some way by Annie, that's what happens when the Stephen King universe gets crossed over with the Monster World after all. Although I can't say I blame her really. I would have done the exact same thing with someone famous that I love or hate too.
(we see the scene from the movie with Nathan in the form of Annie and Russell Brand in place of Paul Sheldon)
Nathan/Annie:
No, no, no Russell - this is all wrong. You can't just say we need a revolution in your book without even explaining what kind of revolution it is. It's just stupid and it's cheating. I want you to destroy this book of yours and then rewrite it!
Russell Brand:
But it's not supposed to be a real revolution. Oh, and can you get me some more paper? This paper smudges when I try to print something out. *he rubs his finger on the page, it smudges the font*
Nathan/Annie:
What do you know, it does.
Russell Brand:
Could you get some more paper?
Nathan/Annie:
Sure...I can do that. Is there anything else you'd like me to get you? Like a tape recorder or a handmade pair of writing slippers? How about I buy the whole entire store for you?
Russell Brand:
What's the matter, mate?
Nathan/Annie:
What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S THE MATTER! I GO OUT OF MY WAY FOR YOU. I DO EVERYTHING TO TRY AND MAKE YOU HAPPY. I FEED YOU, I I CLEAN YOU, I DRESS YOU AND WHAT THANKS DO I GET? "Oh you've got the wrong paper, Nathan" "I can't write about my revolution on this paper, Nathan". WELL I'LL GET YOU YOUR STUPID PAPER BUT YOU BETTER START SHOWING ME A BIT MORE APPRECIATION AROUND HERE, MR BRAND! *hits Russell in the knee with a stack of papers*
Russell Brand:
OOWWWWW! *screams in pain*
(We then cut back to Nathan)
Nathan:
See? I'd totally do that too. Of course i'd also like to recreate a certain other scene as well and that scene is the one and only infamous scene where she breaks Paul's legs so he can't escape. Owwww... I can still feel the pain from that scene in a telepathic sense. And i'm pretty sure a lot of people can too.
And to this day this entire movie and this scene is forever ingrained into our minds, and most of us are already pretty scarred for life already. So hats off to Rob Reiner for bringing this chilling Stephen King novel to life and especially hats off to my fierce lady Kathy Bates for making Annie one of the most famous movie villains in history.
(Skit: Hobbling scene parody)
Nathan/Annie:
Russell..you've been out of the room again haven't you?
Russell Brand:
Uh...no, I haven't.
Nathan/Annie:
Russell, my little plush koala in my computer room always faces due south.
Russell Brand:
Plush koala?
Nathan/Annie:
*holding Russell's keys* I know you've been out twice, Russell. At first I couldn't figure out how you did it but last night I found your keys, I know I left my scrapbook out there, and I can I imagine what you must be thinking of me. But you see Rusty, it's all okay, I realize that you just need more time. Eventually you'll come to accept the idea of being here. Say...do you know about the early days of the Kimberly diamond mines? Do you know what they did to the native workers that stole diamonds?
Russell Brand:
They killed them?
Nathan/Annie:
Don't worry, they didn't kill them - that would be like junking a Mercedes just because it has a broken spring. No they had to make sure they could keep on working, but also they had to make sure that they couldn't run away. The operation was called hobbling. *gets out a sledgehammer*
Russell Brand:
Whatever you're thinking about doing, please don't do it. For god's sake, please don't.
Nathan/Annie:
Shh, Russell.
Russell Brand;
No, please!
Nathan/Annie:
Trust me, it's for the best. *swings the sledgehammer at him and breaks his right foot - breaking it in the process*
Russell Brand:
*squirms* OWWWW!
Nathan/Annie:
Almost done...just one more. *aims it at his left foot and slams the sledgehammer on it, breaking his left foot in the process*
Russell Brand:
Owwww!
(the skit ends)
Nathan:
This movie definitely holds up and you should definitely watch it if you haven't seen it already, if you haven't seen it...then where have you been living for the past 600 years? In another dimension or something? This movie is non-stop chills, spills, thrills and it's timeless and essentially viewing for anyone who is a fan of Stephen King or horror in general, you should definitely check it out.
Stephen King liked it so much that he cast Kathy in the lead role in Dolores Claiborne and also changed the gender of the character Ray Flowers in The Stand to female so that he could have her play the part. And he's not the only one who likes her, I too am a part of the Kathy Bates fan-family.
I give this movie 100 out of 100 and two slightly bent monstrous clawed thumbs up and a high recommendation, of course it is not for the squeamish so unless you're a really tough little monster like I am...then you'll probably need to turn away. I'm Monstermaster13 and this has been my review of Misery, stay tuned for more reviews this month including some new installments of the Walken-A-Thon with everyone's favorite cowbell crazed bloodsucker Chris the alpha Walken.
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