WB Rants: Podcasts About Weirdos.

Werebelushi:
Hello everyone,  your favorite ranting monster reviewer is back with another rant...it seems that someone on a bizarre podcast or forum dedicated to weird and unusual things has decided to talk about me and Nathan on their show.  I'm honored to be mentioned on that show,  I really am.  It's just that....why me and Nathan of all people?  I get it,  these non-supernaturals who run a podcast think we're odd,  the thing is we've always been aware that we're odd.   I've always been aware of being different,  specifically ever since I first discovered my powers...I have human roommates and they think it's unusual,  but they grew used to it.   And yeah,  they asked the question 'are you John or Jim Belushi?' ...the answer is obvious,  i'm based on John and that is it.   Being a monster is a bad thing,  it's just that most non-supernaturals can't understand the things we see.

Look,  guys i'm honored...I truly am,  but if this is one of those internet freak-show things...i'm afraid that I don't need to be put on a freak-show. But I COULD have been on American Horror Story...come on,  i'd make a great character on that show.  If not AHS how about American Crime Story?  If they ever do one about the Twilight Zone movie incident...can I  be John Landis or a member of Vic Morrow's family?  I could play Landis, i'm good at imitating him so i'm told.  

Also...they made it seem like being a fan of Michael Jackson and Alice Cooper and Meat Loaf was a weird thing.   Some people just don't have the taste for classic rock.  Unlike me and my buddies.   These people seem to make it look like that Nathan and I are weird and they seem to typecast Nathan as the were-belushi guy...hey,  you guys...that's my job! I'm the Werebelushi here,  not him.

Nathan's not a were-anything,  yes...he is a shapeshifter who sometimes morphs at night, but he's not a werecreature.  Especially since any use of the 'w' word regarding those type of creatures in-universe to non-werecreature type shapeshifters,  is considered racism.  They have said as a reviewer he has some odd quirks like being passive aggressive...uhhh, that's basically them describing themselves I bet.  

For the record,  i'm a separate character who got his own spin-off show - Nathan has only been me once,  but that was the review of 1941 which started this series to begin with,  this show is a separate entity from his review show and should be viewed as such.  Also...excuse me?   Just Walkenization and werecreature stuff?  Ummm...sorry, that's pretty much just establishing you know Nathan from only THOSE specific things.  You are typecasting him and me at the same time.

Also I can't stand podcasts that pretty have much have the entire crew of it making snide comments at people or things they think are weird for no reason, granted I do like podcasts where people speak in weird voices ,  I love the WEE podcast (the zany characters like Eenus and Groofic make me laugh) but podcasts totally dedicated to making snide comments at weird people for no reason? Yeah,  leave the sarcastic commentary to the professionals.  I'm glad that our adventures have been featured on this work.

In case you don't wonder...I don't howl,  I rock out from time to time and roar like the Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast when i'm angry and yes I sing, but I don't howl. Also why does that person commentary sound so much like that snake-man from the anti-drug PSAs?  I swear he sounds so much like him.  I wouldn't be surprised if it was the exact same guy, that snake-guy gets around I tell ya.  Also,  are they trying to make a meme out of his reviews?  

And also Nathan's right...we DON'T discuss Jim Belushi in my family,  because well he doesn't count unless we're talking about anything any and all to do with the House Of Blues or the Blues Brothers.   They don't get that the transformation guides are fiction  - in the real world that is,  in the monster world these are real and are part of his show.  They are done in character,  like my show is.  I'm a fictional character in your world but in our world i'm very much real.  

Yes,  I know my family has a dark backstory behind it,  there's at least one or two evil members of my family,  but most from them are from my grand-fathers side.  And while the 'spiritual connection' to Belushi thing sounds like Nathan is channeling Dan Aykroyd, which isn't bad at all mind you because he is already so similar to him,  I actually liked that episode...and also yeeeeah,  the drug-addiction joke,  I don't get it and never have, this is why I don't do that in my show,  because that's the drug addiction aspect to me is overdone when it comes to anti-werebelushi humor.  

The part about my family is actually true...on my grand-father's half of the family most of the boys tended to steer towards the evil side,  that is because most of them either used to be henchmen to supervillains or villainous types in general.   There was never a specific 'evil' gene in my bloodline,  not that I know of anyway.  I used to be a troublemaker myself,  my mother and my great aunt Eunice know this.   Also...Man-Belushi?  That sounds like i'm a rip-off of Man-Bat or Man-Spider.   Besides, everyone knows my hero name would be Shades because i'm never seen without my sunglasses.  

Also....half of this is nothing but bad commentary and penis jokes.  How old are these guys again?  Penis jokes have never been funny,  they have been funny...at least a long time ago, and is that really how they'd think i'd sound like?  Half of the voices they're using either sounding like a stereotypical homosexual character or sounding like Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time.  There's nothing wrong with the latter of course,  I LOVE Lumpy Space Princess.   Also...I don't grunt, or growl...I do a great Samurai Futaba impression though.

What Nathan says about the full moon is true,  he did his research.  And trust me, the acting like i'm completely oblivious to a monster transformation thing is common,  I do that all the time.  It's just I have seen it happening to my friends.   And believe me, it's normal.  Oh and thanks for mentioning my family.  But you guys forgot the other lesser known members of my family like great aunt Eunice,  my once evil half step-brother,  my two younger siblings,  She-Belushi (my female counterpart), and of course the cousins.  What?  Don't tell me you don't remember the cousins? I've got several of them.  In case you're wondering about the quills thing...my species has a mix of bear and porcupine in there.

They didn't even mention my most infamous cousin of all..Scrappy T. Belushi!  I know most of my viewers thought that cousin Scrappy was annoying and stupid, but some really do like him...and besides he actually helped me out.    Also...yeah I DON'T sound like that.  I DON'T sound like Nicolas Cage crossed with Eeyore and Sam Elliot.   I repeat,  I DON'T sound like Nicolas Cage.  This guy doesn't even know how to play me.  Besides,  we've all decided that if we ever get to work on doing a That Werebelushi In The Shades movie we all know i'm going to be playing me.    Because i'm the only who can play me.
 
Also don't doubt the amazing powers of hypnosis or the Walken for that matter.  The latter knows and sees all.   Also,  the cowbell is important to him.  It extends life and  expands consciousness,  it is vital to space travel,  he or she who controls the cowboy controls the universe.   *his eyes briefly turn blue, as in blue-within-blue*  Sorry,  I go into Dune mode often.   I can't help it.   And for the record,  the Worm Jeff thing is a fanon creation based on Jeff the Killer...it is inspired by the Joker venom and the Jason parasite from Jason Goes To Hell.      And yes i'm a fan of that too.

A 'Nosferatu'  is a type of vampire in the RPG  Vampire: The Masquerade.  Basically it's a type of vampire that transforms people via the 'Embrace' ability.  Also, 1999?  I'm pretty sure Snopes and similar sites have existed before then.  Also,  the Walken impression is off, this guy sounds like he's John Travolta.  Which isn't a bad choice mind you, but still...it's off.  Heck, I go on Snopes sometimes to check to see if any urban legends about Disney are true (such as the people dying on the Haunted Mansion thing).     Also...virus sniffing dog?  Surely, they mean one of those animal familiars that can detect dark/evil presences.   I have one of those, he's a mix of a piranha and a barracuda.     Also what's with the random Edward G. Robinson/Chief Wiggum impersonation?  I don't recall Walken sounding like Wiggum.  When I watch The Simpsons I don't go...'Hey...is that Walken voicing the overweight police chief?', I go...'That Hank Azaria sure is talented.'  

Also the poor impersonations don't stop there...we've got some bad impersonations that sound disturbingly like Skeletor crossed with Gollum,  impersonations that sound like Christian Slater doing his Nicholson impersonation,  impersonations that sound like the Mad Hatter from the Disney version of Alice In Wonderland,  and impersonations that sound like poor impersonations of Adam Sandler and  Gilbert Gottfried.

The Elvis comparison though,  I think Walken would like that since he has played Elvis on stage and idolized him.  And of course...the Walken knows and sees all.  Also, last time I checked...Elvis did have blue eyes,  but he didn't have the same type of eyes as Walken, that's because Walken has heterochromia (where one eye is  a slightly different color than the other).    They are a mixture of blue and green.  Dan Aykroyd also has heterochromia (one eye is brown and the other is green).     Also,  I know most people think that Elvis always had black hair,  but his actual hair color was blonde but he dyed it black.

Also they seem to be questioning his transformation tier.  Like what?  I don't see anything wrong with horror character transformations.  In fact more of those should be done.  Also, no shameful self-promotion,  that's bad form.  Also i'm pretty sure not all of those actors and actresses have connections in the form of appearing in movies reviewed by Channel Awesome or fellow reviewers,  they're over-thinking it.  Also Matthias T.Radke is MY actual name and not Nathan's.  We're not the same person.

This episode....pretty much did nothing for me.  Normally I  don't outright say that something should have been made but this episode really shouldn't have been made. Nathan and I could have just done the whole episode ourselves and done it as a parody of those types of idiotic podcasts and it would have been done better.  I don't recommend checking this show out in the slightest,  only if you are into the Howard Stern type of radio show perhaps...but not if you're a sane person who just happens to like odd things.

Hasn't changed a bit? Oh,  Nathan and I have changed...a LOT.   These people just don't get it, also pretty much admitting in your podcast that you actively want people to check out our work like that is basically just inviting the Daloli-verse to show up.    I don't want that, I appreciate the mention but really..this episode could have been done by someone other than these guys,  because other than a bunch of lame impersonations and crude jokes that someone who likely still watches Adam Sandler movies would find funny,  there's nothing to it...skip this episode all together.  It's not worth your time.