WB Rants: Fake Werecreatures.
Werebelushi rants:
Mythology
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Werebelushi:
Today's rant is on people who constantly think the idea of werecreatures based on humans rather than animals is a stupid idea. People, that's the whole point of it - ugh...I just HATE having to explain how it works. What? Do you people not know what satire is?
Oh, i'm sorry.. in whatever backwards universe you're from satire must be an alien concept to the likes of whatever your are. People, just because you dislike the idea of human based werecreatures doesn't mean you can complain about them and nitpick the hell out of them like one someone says shit like "Why are there no female werecreatures? All of them are male."
To which I reply to that one...wow, SJW much? Has this person been living under a rock for the past several hundred years or something? In case you don't know there already have been female werecreatures in the Monster World, I mean there's a female Were-Presley for crying out loud, a female werejohncandy and even I have a female counterpart...so I don't see why you must go all SJW because you think there's not enough female werecreatures, heck there are a ton of Were-celebrity type TGs on DA - are you not satisified enough, you shrieking demon from the depths of Hell? Lastly...my good friend does NOT have to listen to someone like you because he/she doesn't wish to please anyone and isn't out to get pageviews or attention, he/she is just doing this for fun.
Also...to those who try to make up fake weresonas. Stick to ACTUAL LIVING THINGS. Objects such as vehicles, food items and clothing are NOT living creatures - they are inanimate, you can't have Were-Inanimate Objects. Yes, I know people turning into inanimate objects isn't entirely new especially on sites like Furaffinity but still...you can't have your fursona or 'were-sona' as it were be something that ISN'T A LIVING ORGANISM. Yeah, this sounds a bit hypocritical coming from a werecreature based off a dead comedian but at least the person I based on was an actual living human being.
Besides, being a piece of clothing every night would be depressing. You'd be forced to be worn by someone all the time and you'd be helpless to do anything about it since clothing CANNOT breathe, it can't talk, it can't move and it just exists to be worn. So you get to be a pretty sandal attached to your high-school crushes's feet, but you don't get to do anything unless your 'owner' gets up and starts walking. As for the werecelebrity gimmick, leave THAT to the professionals.
Were-food? Really? I'm sorry but if you turn into a piece of bread every-night, then you must have the most depressing life ever. I mean all you do is sit in the fridge and wait to get eaten, what kind of life is that? I mean it must be terribly depressing knowing the only purpose you have is to be eaten. Unless you're a living food monster made by Grandma Stuffems, then there's no chance of you ever surviving an entire night as a piece of food..especially if you've read the classic story of the Gingerbread Man. I mean don't you just hate it when some jerk claiming to be a Were-Pizza shows up at a meeting of actual werecreatures? I certainly do.
To the person who acted like a pretentious prick and said that my creator needs to do something other than werecreatures and to give things like Pokemon a try. Here's the problem with that, there are ALREADY more than 400 types of Pokemon for almost every single creature you can imagine (except koalas, deep sea fishes, and so forth) including inanimate objects and food - yes, people I have just addressed the fact that there are Pokemon based on non-living organisms. Face it, there's a Pokemon variant of almost everything, so it would be impossible to think of any new ideas.
Also regarding this user's other suggestion...vampires who age. I'm sorry but having a vampire age is technically defeating the point of their immortality to begin with, being immortal means they are immune to aging, they can still be killed in various ways but they don't age. And no...they're NOT the same as zombies, because while technically undead, they're more human and zombies are mindless and inhuman with a Horror Hunger for either flesh or brains, and even those Romero type zombies are inspired by a similar flesh-eating creature in folklore known as a Ghoul.
For the record, Jack Goodman in American Werewolf In London is a ghost NOT a zombie, and no...Eric Draven/The Crow isn't a zombie either, he's just the spirit of vengeance personified. And also...in case anyone asks, Machete in Machete Kills is NOT a zombie either...he's just an action-hero type who is inhumanly powerful and strong and can survive anything. Also..regarding Deadites, they're demons NOT zombies.
So...you think this vampire should be the type that goes after virgin blood and if they don't they'll rapidly age? One problem, that type of concept has ALREADY been done. The 1985 film Once Bitten - starring a very young Jim Carrey by the way - did that with the Countess - she needs to bite a virgin on the thigh three times before halloween or she'll age at the stroke of midnight. The movie The Hunger has also done aging vampires as well. And besides...like I said, having a vampire age kind of defeats the purpose of them being immortal to begin with. I know they said to give vampirism a try but here's the thing, there already IS a new take on vampires - they're called Walkens and no they're NOT 'Were-Walkens'.
It's like when the Sleepy Hollow tv series revealed that Abraham Von Brunt was the Horseman the entire time and how he became the horseman to begin with. The Headless Horseman isn't human to begin with - so why make it so he was human at one point? The original story and lore behind the horseman does in fact explain that the horseman was a soldier at one point but that's all we know about him. Regarding Christopher Walken's Hessian in Tim Burton's version and people asking..why the sharp teeth and growling? Well.. he's a bloodthirsty monster, and monsters are supposed to have sharp teeth and/or fangs except for ones that don't have teeth. Plus...wouldn't you sharpen your teeth to vampiric points if you could? After all, that is a form of Body Modification.
Regarding my earlier bit on vampires...having a vampire age defeats the point of them being immortal, it's like if you have a were-shark who transforms during the day but he needs to be in a pool of water - or a were-dragon who is weak against fire which is the thing he/she breathes out of their mouth.
Or a were-frog who is amphibious but only transforms into frog form when he's in the water, or having a Romero styled zombie who only goes after the brains of intelligent people rather than brains in general. See? It's kind of like having a plutarkian who smells like perfume rather than smelling awful.
People, my friend isn't here for your amusement, he's got a life of their own - you know and I don't think he'd like it if you kept whining about how stupid you think his creations are, now please grow up for pete's sake. I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades reminding you to relax, man...it's just stories. Now if you excuse me, i've got to continue writing my review for the Goosebumps movie.
Mythology
--------------------------
Werebelushi:
Today's rant is on people who constantly think the idea of werecreatures based on humans rather than animals is a stupid idea. People, that's the whole point of it - ugh...I just HATE having to explain how it works. What? Do you people not know what satire is?
Oh, i'm sorry.. in whatever backwards universe you're from satire must be an alien concept to the likes of whatever your are. People, just because you dislike the idea of human based werecreatures doesn't mean you can complain about them and nitpick the hell out of them like one someone says shit like "Why are there no female werecreatures? All of them are male."
To which I reply to that one...wow, SJW much? Has this person been living under a rock for the past several hundred years or something? In case you don't know there already have been female werecreatures in the Monster World, I mean there's a female Were-Presley for crying out loud, a female werejohncandy and even I have a female counterpart...so I don't see why you must go all SJW because you think there's not enough female werecreatures, heck there are a ton of Were-celebrity type TGs on DA - are you not satisified enough, you shrieking demon from the depths of Hell? Lastly...my good friend does NOT have to listen to someone like you because he/she doesn't wish to please anyone and isn't out to get pageviews or attention, he/she is just doing this for fun.
Also...to those who try to make up fake weresonas. Stick to ACTUAL LIVING THINGS. Objects such as vehicles, food items and clothing are NOT living creatures - they are inanimate, you can't have Were-Inanimate Objects. Yes, I know people turning into inanimate objects isn't entirely new especially on sites like Furaffinity but still...you can't have your fursona or 'were-sona' as it were be something that ISN'T A LIVING ORGANISM. Yeah, this sounds a bit hypocritical coming from a werecreature based off a dead comedian but at least the person I based on was an actual living human being.
Besides, being a piece of clothing every night would be depressing. You'd be forced to be worn by someone all the time and you'd be helpless to do anything about it since clothing CANNOT breathe, it can't talk, it can't move and it just exists to be worn. So you get to be a pretty sandal attached to your high-school crushes's feet, but you don't get to do anything unless your 'owner' gets up and starts walking. As for the werecelebrity gimmick, leave THAT to the professionals.
Were-food? Really? I'm sorry but if you turn into a piece of bread every-night, then you must have the most depressing life ever. I mean all you do is sit in the fridge and wait to get eaten, what kind of life is that? I mean it must be terribly depressing knowing the only purpose you have is to be eaten. Unless you're a living food monster made by Grandma Stuffems, then there's no chance of you ever surviving an entire night as a piece of food..especially if you've read the classic story of the Gingerbread Man. I mean don't you just hate it when some jerk claiming to be a Were-Pizza shows up at a meeting of actual werecreatures? I certainly do.
To the person who acted like a pretentious prick and said that my creator needs to do something other than werecreatures and to give things like Pokemon a try. Here's the problem with that, there are ALREADY more than 400 types of Pokemon for almost every single creature you can imagine (except koalas, deep sea fishes, and so forth) including inanimate objects and food - yes, people I have just addressed the fact that there are Pokemon based on non-living organisms. Face it, there's a Pokemon variant of almost everything, so it would be impossible to think of any new ideas.
Also regarding this user's other suggestion...vampires who age. I'm sorry but having a vampire age is technically defeating the point of their immortality to begin with, being immortal means they are immune to aging, they can still be killed in various ways but they don't age. And no...they're NOT the same as zombies, because while technically undead, they're more human and zombies are mindless and inhuman with a Horror Hunger for either flesh or brains, and even those Romero type zombies are inspired by a similar flesh-eating creature in folklore known as a Ghoul.
For the record, Jack Goodman in American Werewolf In London is a ghost NOT a zombie, and no...Eric Draven/The Crow isn't a zombie either, he's just the spirit of vengeance personified. And also...in case anyone asks, Machete in Machete Kills is NOT a zombie either...he's just an action-hero type who is inhumanly powerful and strong and can survive anything. Also..regarding Deadites, they're demons NOT zombies.
So...you think this vampire should be the type that goes after virgin blood and if they don't they'll rapidly age? One problem, that type of concept has ALREADY been done. The 1985 film Once Bitten - starring a very young Jim Carrey by the way - did that with the Countess - she needs to bite a virgin on the thigh three times before halloween or she'll age at the stroke of midnight. The movie The Hunger has also done aging vampires as well. And besides...like I said, having a vampire age kind of defeats the purpose of them being immortal to begin with. I know they said to give vampirism a try but here's the thing, there already IS a new take on vampires - they're called Walkens and no they're NOT 'Were-Walkens'.
It's like when the Sleepy Hollow tv series revealed that Abraham Von Brunt was the Horseman the entire time and how he became the horseman to begin with. The Headless Horseman isn't human to begin with - so why make it so he was human at one point? The original story and lore behind the horseman does in fact explain that the horseman was a soldier at one point but that's all we know about him. Regarding Christopher Walken's Hessian in Tim Burton's version and people asking..why the sharp teeth and growling? Well.. he's a bloodthirsty monster, and monsters are supposed to have sharp teeth and/or fangs except for ones that don't have teeth. Plus...wouldn't you sharpen your teeth to vampiric points if you could? After all, that is a form of Body Modification.
Regarding my earlier bit on vampires...having a vampire age defeats the point of them being immortal, it's like if you have a were-shark who transforms during the day but he needs to be in a pool of water - or a were-dragon who is weak against fire which is the thing he/she breathes out of their mouth.
Or a were-frog who is amphibious but only transforms into frog form when he's in the water, or having a Romero styled zombie who only goes after the brains of intelligent people rather than brains in general. See? It's kind of like having a plutarkian who smells like perfume rather than smelling awful.
People, my friend isn't here for your amusement, he's got a life of their own - you know and I don't think he'd like it if you kept whining about how stupid you think his creations are, now please grow up for pete's sake. I'm That Werebelushi In The Shades reminding you to relax, man...it's just stories. Now if you excuse me, i've got to continue writing my review for the Goosebumps movie.
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